Transcript

The following is a transcript of the entire Over the Garden Wall miniseries.

Chapter 1: The Old Grist Mill

[Into the Unknown plays as the visuals switch from various scenes: a toad playing the opening notes on a swiveling piano; a redheaded girl in a blue dress, petting her dog whilst sitting in the woods with a bird flying by in the background, and the girl—later revealed as Beatrice—looking back toward the bird; a grinning black cat on a turkey-drawn cart full of pumpkins; a circus with four long-legged instrumentalists, a juggling gorilla, and a ballerina dancing atop a galloping horse; a set of varied, wooden dolls; a nobleman—later revealed as Quincy Endicott—holding a candle, looking upon a portrait before being startled by a moving shadow and the wind; an old woman—revealed later to be Adelaide—with the top half of her face cut from the shot, using a pair of embroidery scissors to snip a thread on a quilt; two jovial, sailor-looking boys sitting on the rocks that border a river, one winding up a toy steamboat before setting it on the water; a rear-view of an unknown character—later revealed to be Lorna—setting a candle down on the shelf in an ossuary; a large fish on a wooden boat in a murky river, fishing; an unknown character—later revealed as Greg—picking up a rock from the ground; and a view of a young woman, later known as the Woodsman's Daughter, stood in front of a well with the Woodsman chopping logs in the background, the young woman looking off to the side as it pans toward the forest. It cuts to the title sequence as the song turns more nostalgic, and then moves to brief shots of blurry images, later figured to be Wirt, Gregory, and Greg's frog in the lake, before the story begins.]

Narrator: [after singing] Somewhere, lost in the clouded annals of history, lies a place that few have seen—a mysterious place, called the Unknown—where long forgotten stories are revealed to those who travel through the wood...

[The scenery now fades to the forested depths of the Unknown, with Wirt and Greg walking as the latter rambles.]

Greg: ... Antelope, Guggenheim, Albert, Salami, Giggly, Jumpy, Tom, Thomas, Tambourine, Leg-Face McCullen, Artichoke, Penguin, Pete, Steve... But I think the very worst name for this frog is—

Wirt: Wait, wait a second. Uh...Greg?

[Owl hooting]

[Squirrels chittering]

Wirt: Where—are we?

Greg: In the woods?

Wirt: I mean... what are we doing out here?

Greg: We're walking home!

Wirt: [visibly distressed] Greg! I, I think we're lost! We, w-we should've left a trail or something.

Greg: [throwing candy on the ground from his pants] I can leave a trail of candy from my pants!!

Wirt: [sighs] No. though I am lost, my wounded heart resides back home—in pieces—strewn about the graveyard of my lost love. For only—

[Axe chopping in the distance]

Wirt: [gasps] Do you hear that? [starts walking toward the noise]

Greg: [following] Yeah.

[Both brothers peek around a tree.]

Wirt: [quickly, as ax cutting sounds occur off-screen] Do you think it's some kind of deranged lunatic with an axe waiting out there in the darkness for innocent victims? [Greg runs further into the woods; Wirt calls after in a hushed whisper] Greg!

[Squirrels chittering; Wirt makes a frightened sound before following after Greg]

Wirt: [whispering, annoyed] Greg, you're going to get us into trouble again! [gasps as he looks up]

[A stranger, soon known as The Woodsman, is singing incoherently while gathering Edelwood.]

Greg: [whispering] We should ask him for help!

Wirt: [whispering] No, we should not ask him for help.

Greg: But—!

Wirt: Shh!

Greg: You shh!

Wirt: You shh!

Greg: Shhh—!! [Wirt covers Greg's mouth; Greg makes muffled sounds]

[The Woodsman leaves into another area of the forest.]

Wirt: [normal volume] Shoot. Y-You think we should've asked him for help? [Greg shrugs.]

Beatrice, from atop a branch: Hey. Maybe I can help you. I mean, you guys are lost, right?

Wirt: [dumbfounded; gasps, slaps his own face a few times] What, in the world is going on?!

Greg: Well you're slapping yourself, and I'm answering your question, and—

Wirt: No, Greg. A - a bird's brain isn't big enough for cognizant speech.

Beatrice: [annoyed] Hey, what was that?

[Greg sticks a piece of candy on a black turtle and smiles as Wirt speaks]

Wirt: I mean, I-I'm just saying, you're, you're weird. Like, not normal. I, I mean— [hushed] Oh my gosh, stop talking to it, Wirt...

Beatrice: [more annoyed] It?

[Greg sticks another piece of candy on Wirt's cape]

Wirt: [stammers, then yells in surprised fear as the Woodsman discovers them]

Woodsman: [angered] What're you doing here?! Explain yourselves!!

Beatrice: [flies away] Aaand I'll see you guys later, bye.

Wirt: [voice cracks; clearly fearful] Calm—calm down, mister! Wh-Whatever you do here is your business! W-W-We just wanna get home with all our legs and arms attached!!

Woodsman: These woods are no place, for children! Don't you know the Beast is afoot here?

Wirt: The Beast? [more stammering] We don't know anything about that! W-We're just two lost kids, trying to get home!

Woodsman: Well, welcome to the Unknown, boys. You're more lost than you realize.

[After Wirt looks to the left, there's a cut to the felled Edelwood's wooden face, leaves breezing through the holes in the bark with an ominous musical sting. Fading to black, the scene changes to a shot of the Grist Mill. We cut inside the living room where the Woodsman, Wirt, and Greg take refuge.]

Woodsman: I found this homestead abandoned, and repurposed its mill for my needs. [uses a piece of flint and some steel to light a fire in the fireplace] You and your brother should be safe here, while I work.

Greg: [setting pieces of candy on the floor while moving backwards] Candy trail, candy trail, can-dy-trail... [keeps chanting]

Wirt: [slightly nervous and suspicious] What, what is your—work, exactly?

Woodsman: Everyone has a torch to burn, [pats the lantern by his side] and this here's mine. I grind the horrid Edelwood trees into oil, to keep this lantern lit. [breaks an Edelwood branch, throws it aside; it clatters under the chaise lounge as he continues] This is my lot in life, this is my burden.

Wirt: [after a small pause, hushed, to Greg] This guy sounds loony. Maybe we should make a break for it, i-if we can. But he must know the woods really well, so we may need to knock him out, first. Except—that might turn out really badly, huh? Yeah, bad, bad plan, eh, forget it, bad plan.

Greg: [normal volume] Okay.

Woodsman: What're you boys whispering about?

Greg: We were talking about runnin' away outta here.

Wirt: Shh!!

Greg: Shh—

Wirt: Shh!

Greg: Shoosh!!

Woodsman: [groans with effort as he stands] Leave, if you wish. But remember: the Beast haunts these woods, [almost melodically] ever singiiiing, his moournful melodyyy... [suddenly more urgent] —in search of lost souls, such as yourselves!

Greg: To help us?

Woodsman: No, not to help you. [turns away] I have work to do in the mill. When I'm finished, I will do what I can to guide you. If you are still here when I return. [Exits the living room into the mill]

Wirt: [pauses; then, thoughtfully] Huh. I guess—we could just leave. But, eh, I don't know...—Greg!

Greg: [not paying attention, he swings a log] What?

Wirt: Do you think there really is a Beast out there? [as he talks, Greg tosses the log aside, walks over to a decorative bird sculpture, and swings it] Or, is, is that guy just messing with us?

Greg: [distractedly] Uh-huh.

Wirt: I mean, he could've done away with us by now, if that was his plan. And he lit that fire, that's—pretty nice. [gesturing to the fireplace, he walks to the chaise lounge]

Greg: Yeah!

Wirt: I guess it's possible there's a Beast, since there was a talking bird, but... [sitting on the chaise lounge]

Greg: [trying to 'hype Wirt up'] Yeah!!

Wirt: [sighs as he lays back] I dunno. Sometimes I feel like I'm just like... [melodramatically, almost trance-like] a boat, upon a winding river... twisting, towards an endless black sea...

[Greg grunts as he swings what looks to be a banjo]

Wirt: [still melodramatic] Further, and further, drifting away... from where I want to be [turns to his side, facing Greg, emphatically gesturing]—who!—I want to be...

Greg: [unaffected, sitting on the floor] Oh, I didn't know that. Did you know, that if you soak a raisin in grape juice, it turns into a grape? [takes a rock out of his satchel, happily] It's a rock fact!

Wirt: [dejected] Augh, you're not helping at all. Why don't you go play with your frog, or something?

Greg: [realization] Aw, beans! Where is that frog o' mine? Hold on there, second-brother o' mine! I'll be back soon for your plan. [throws some more candy into the air before exiting the building while Wirt stares at the ceiling]

[cuts to Greg outside the mill]

Greg: [hums] Kitty!! Kitty?? Now where did that frog named 'Kitty' go? Whup-- [trips on his own candy; still joyful voice] I tripped on my own candy trail!

[Animalistic growling in the distance, towards the darkened forest.]

Greg: Hm? [walks a bit toward the noise with a pause. Then, a ribbit sound comes from the mill; Greg looks back, smiling] That frog's givin' me the run-around. [walks back, throwing candy around carelessly]

[Greg grunts some as he shimmies on top of a barrel just in front of a window on the mill; he peeks inside.]

Greg: Kitty?

[From Greg's view inside the mill, The Woodsman hums indistinctly as he grinds branches of Edelwood into oil, that of which he bottles for use.]

Greg: Gross.

[Ribbit.]

Greg: Kitty??

[More growling from the woods]

Greg: [thoughtful; takes a step toward the noise] Hmm...is that—woah!! [falls into the barrel, on top of his frog] Oh, there you are!! [the frog ribbits]

[Growling continues, growing closer over the course of a few seconds of pause.]

Greg: [concerned, somewhat fearful] Wirt? [pause, silence; eyebrows furrow in confusion] ...Kitty??

[A dog with piercing eyes peeks into the barrel and continues its growling.]

Greg: [scared] You have beautiful eyes!!

[screeching sounds as the dog unhinges its jaw, then hard cut to inside the grist mill's living room, where Wirt plays with a bolero toy, frustrated that he can't solve it.]

Wirt: Yeugh... [creaking and the sound of wood breaking from outside startle him; wariness shows in his voice] Greg? [pause] Uh...?

[A clattering sound from the next room; harried footsteps, and the Woodsman enters.]

Woodsman: [urgent] What's happening? Where's your brother?

Wirt: [shrugging, makes the 'I dunno' sound:] Ah-enuh!

Greg: [dazed, stumbling into the mill with barrel pieces on him] Oh holy moley, hot dog—!! [Greg is knocked back to a flight of stairs by the dog's entrance]

Wirt: [startled] It's the Beast!!

Woodsman: Stay back, boys! [Greg, wielding a piece of wood, starts down the steps as the Woodsman speaks] This creature, which is known as—[Greg knocks the hat off the Woodsman's head]—huh?? [The Woodsman stumbles, steps and breaks the ceramic bird sculpture on the floor, and falls unconscious on a log.]

Wirt: [disbelief in his voice] GREG, WHY DID YOU DO THAT!!!

Greg: That was the plan, remember? Knock him out!

Wirt: Eh—no! Ah, bad plan!! [the dog stalks toward Wirt, who uses the fireplace gate as a shield] I told you to forget that plan!!! [cowers] Ahhhhh!!!

Greg: [spanks the dog with the handle of the Woodsman's axe] Spank, spank... spank!!

Wirt: [runs to the mill portion of the building while the dog's distracted, voice frantic] Run run run run run run run!!!!

Greg: Caaaandyyy, camouflage! [throws candy in the air, grabs his frog, and follows Wirt] Run run run run run run run!

[The oil-covered dog follows, breaking through the mill door, and gets stuck under a gear while pursuing Wirt.]

Wirt: [climbing the stairs, yelling] Greg!

Greg: [comes into the frame] This is amazing, huh??

[The dog comes free; Wirt spots a sack of potatoes nearby, and throws a few at the dog before tossing the entire sack at it.]

Greg: Am I supposed to throw something? [the dog makes a loud, screech-yell-like noise] Oh yeah! [throws candy from his pants] Haha!

[The dog eats the sweets.]

Wirt: [slight surprise] He's eating your candy?

Greg: I wonder if he ate my whole candy trail that lead to this mill!

Wirt: [angry realization] Augh! [smacks Greg's teapot hat] Greg!! You lead the Beast right to us with your candy!

[The dog flips over the platform Wirt and Greg stood on; the toppled platform separates Wirt and Greg from the dog]

Wirt and Greg: [dazed, sitting up] Euh...

Wirt: [realization] Hey, [takes the axe] gimme the axe; you're too little to have it anyway, I— [cuts quickly to the dog scratching at the wooden platform; back to Wirt, who's distressed and stammering] —we gotta, we gotta get outta here!

[Greg pats Wirt's elbow and points toward a ladder, which the brothers use to reach the roof of the mill; the dog bursts through the roof in pursuit.]

Wirt: [scared yell as he backs away] Uhh, G-Greg, eh, g-give him the rest of your candy!!

Greg: [searches his pants, but no candy remains; he spots the piece he put on Wirt's cape earlier, and throws it off the roof to the waterwheel] Whoops!

[The dog jumps off after it, and spits out a black turtle from the force of the waterwheel on its body; the whole mill falls apart, and Wirt and Greg fall into the river nearby. Wirt surfaces, and reaches land with the ax in hand. He watches the regurgitated turtle walk away with the candy still stuck to its shell.]

Greg: [offscreen] Hey Wirt, look!

Wirt: [looking around] Greg?

Greg: Wirt! [cuts to Greg and his frog atop the dog, who is now tame] He spit out that turtle, and now he's my new best friend!! [the dog shakes the water, Greg, and Greg's frog, off itself] Ouhh—oh... Hey, where ya goin'??

[The dog ambles off.]

Greg: [play-wistful] Ain't that just the way...

Woodsman: [anguished] The mill is destroyed...the oil! All gone!!

Wirt: —But, b-but look! We, w-we got the Beast problem solved. [points to the dog, who now lays asleep on the grass]

Woodsman: [furious] That dog?! That is NOT the Beast!! [takes his axe from Wirt, who's distraught and puts his hands to his gaping mouth silently] The Beast cannot be mollified like some farmer's pet!!!

Woodsman: He stalks, like the night— [swings his axe through a nearby rock] —he sings like the Four Winds— [wind howling] —he is the Death of Hope!! He steals their children, and, he'll... ruin... [mumbles]

Wirt: [hushed, angered; knocks Greg's teapot hat] You're always messing up, Greg.

Woodsman: Boy! You have it backwards! You are the elder child! You are responsible for you, and your brother's actions!!

Wirt: Ah, Ahm, I-I'm sorry. Maybe I can—fix it? [to himself] I—I can't fix it.

Woodsman: [forlornly, shakes his head] You must go. [points across the river] Take your brother north. Look for a town!

Wirt: Yeah. Thanks. [leads Greg by the hand north] Come on, Greg.

[As they hop over the stones across the river, the Woodsman gives a final warning:]

Woodsman: One last thing. Beware, the Unknown! Fear the Beast! And leave these woods!! [quieter] If you can. [louder again] It is your burden to bear!

Wirt: Right, yeah—ah—got it.

Woodsman: [more gentle] And you, little one. You look after that frog; give it a proper name.

Greg: [the frog ribbits] Okay. [gives an OK hand sign]

[Wirt and Greg cross the river and the scene pans up, then transitions to the brothers walking through the moonlit forest as a more lighthearted string melody backs them.]

Greg: Wirt, I think I thought of a new name for our frog. I'm gonna call him, 'Wirt.'

Wirt: That's—gonna be really confusing.

Greg: No, I'm gonna call you 'Kitty.'

Wirt: What? [playful] Maybe I'll start calling you 'Candy Pants.'

Greg: [ecstatic] Woah, yeah!! ['Wirt' ribbits] Good one, Wirt.

Wirt: Thanks.

Greg: I'm not talkin' to you. I'm talkin' to Wirt!

[As the scene fades to black, the musical backing ends on an uneasy, sour tone...]

Chapter 2: Hard Times at the Huskin' Bee

[Text reading 'Cartoon Network Presents' appears, backed by a swelling, nostalgic string arrangement, the theme of the show: Over the Garden Wall's title card fades in, which then fades to the title card for Chapter 2: Hard Times at the Huskin' Bee. Its icon is a pumpkin with dot eyes and teeth smiling from a bed of vines. As the card fades to black, a train horn is distantly heard.

Another, more pastoral string theme plays as the scene fades in to the wind blowing through a branch of yellow leaves. One browner leaf gets swept away, and the wind carries it through a whole forest of rounded, yellow trees in the morning mist. The next shot cuts to the morning sky as a flock of geese, flying in a V formation, sound their honks distantly. Our third shot is close to the ground; a cricket lay on a yellowed leaf speckled with morning dew. The cricket sounds its song and hops to the left. For the fourth shot, the camera is in a thicket, watching three turkeys bob, yelp, purr and cluck, and travel across the screen from afar. One turkey stops to peck at the ground.

Then finally, in the thick of the woods come Wirt, Greg, and Greg's frog. All three of them come into view through the mist, and Greg is blowing raspberries by pushing both of his cheeks with his pointer fingers while Wirt looks anywhere but at Greg. Greg's frog rests on Greg's teapot hat, looking down at him.]

Wirt: [worried] It's almost morning. We should've found a town by now. [looks to Greg] This—is the way the Woodsman told us to go, right?

Greg: [pauses raspberries] Have you listened to anything I've been saying? For the last couple of hours I've been saying— [continues raspberries three times]

Wirt: Well, that settles it—[Greg stops, and Wirt walks ahead out of frame]—I'm gonna walk up ten feet ahead of you.

Beatrice, offscreen: Help!

Greg: [turns] Huh? [looks offscreen opposite Wirt's walking]

Beatrice, offscreen: I'm stuck!

Greg: [urgent] I hear something!

Wirt: [distracted, approaching a sign] It's probably nothing. Hey, look. [squats at the sign; it says,] Pottsfield, one mile. [excited] A town! Let's go this way!

Greg: [unaffected] Alright. Let's go this way. [goes the opposite direction]

Wirt: [annoyed] Not— [groans quietly]

[Greg, continuing ahead, approaches a bush.]

Greg: Hello? [turns] Hello?

Beatrice, offscreen: [rustling in the bush; urgently, in a low voice] Hey, you!

Greg: [at normal volume] Who, me?

Beatrice, from within the bush: Yeah, you!

Greg: [approaches the bush and peeks inside to see Beatrice tangled in vines, struggling] Oh, hello!

Beatrice: [gasps] It's you again. I'm stuck. Help me out of here and I'll owe you a favor!

Greg: [excited] Woah, I get a wish?

Beatrice: [quickly] No-no-no, not a wish. I'm not magical. I'll just do you a good turn.

Greg: Can you turn me into a tiger?

Beatrice: [annoyed] Uh, no—I just said I'm not magical.

Greg: It doesn't have to be a magical tiger.

[Wirt approaches and it cuts to both him and Greg, outside the bush.]

Wirt: Greg, stop talking to a bush.

Greg: Okay. [he proceeds to free Beatrice from the bush one-handed, who flies above them.]

Wirt: [confused] Huh?

Beatrice: Thanks! I owe you a favor, so, um— [the camera shows Wirt's surprised expression for a moment; then with a quick tone:] —you two are lost kids with no purpose in life, right?

Greg: Uh-huh.

[Wirt silently gives an annoyed, hurt expression.]

Beatrice: [with a flourish, like she's telling a story] How about I bring you to Adelaide of the Pasture, the Good Woman of the Woods? [Wirt's surprised face is shown] She can help you get home!

Greg: [enchanted] Oooh!

Wirt: [shaking his hands] No, no. No, no. No-no-no-no-no. [incredulous, gesturing about] Magic, talking birds, leading us to fairy godmothers, in a mysterious— [his eyes move around a bit before he says, mentally drained:] —I'm going to Pottsfield.

[Wirt turns to leave for Pottsfield. Greg looks to Beatrice before following.]

Greg: [jovial] Yeah! We're going to Pottsfield! [waves Beatrice over] Come on!

Beatrice: [impatient] What about the favor?

Greg: I'll think of my wish later.

Beatrice: Ugh...

[Beatrice follows them to Pottsfield. The scene cuts to all four of them—Wirt, Greg, Greg's frog who's under Greg's arm, and Beatrice—walking on a worn trail through what appears to be a pumpkin patch. Morning mist still wafts through the scene. The camera focuses on Greg, his frog, and Beatrice.]

Greg: [to Beatrice] So, let's small talk. My name's Greg. What's yours?

Beatrice: [impatient] Beatrice.

Greg: My brother's name is Wirt—

Beatrice: Who cares?

[Cut momentarily to Wirt, who looks annoyed, but says nothing.]

Greg: [rubbing his frog's face] —and, my frog's name is Wirt Jr., but that may change.

Beatrice: [dismissive] Okay, that's great. [conspiring whisper] How about you and I ditch your brother?

Greg: [grimacing] Mmm, maybe later. [changes the subject] So is it nice being a bird?

Beatrice: [blunt] Nope.

Greg: Oh. [pauses, making a face as he thinks of something to say] —Do you like waffles?

Beatrice: No, waffles make me sick. I eat—[hesitates]—..mmmaggots...

Greg: [screams]

Beatrice: [flying flip, distressed] What?

Greg: [incredulous] How can you not eat waffles?!

[Squashing sound.]

Greg: [louder scream]

Beatrice: [another flying flip, more distressed] What?!

Greg: [same tone] I stepped on a pumpkin!!

Wirt, offscreen: A-ha!

[Wirt stands with his arms up, triumphant, facing their view of the path leading straight to a rural farming village.]

Wirt: [relieved] Civilization! See? Now— [squashing sound] —huh? What the?

[It is revealed Wirt also stepped on a pumpkin. He shakes his leg back and forth with a couple sounds of effort and the pumpkin falls away to hit the ground, breaking apart with a squelching crash. Wirt turns back to the town, hands on his hips.]

Wirt: Alright. Let's rejoin society.

[The group approach the town, Greg's foot still stuck in a pumpkin, walking through the dirt-trodden road as the same pastoral string theme from the opening shots plays, but an uncertain note ends the first melody. Wirt leading the group, he walks down an alley between a house and a log cabin.]

Wirt: [uncertain] Hello? [looks around] Hellooo? — Hrm. See anybody?

Greg: [looking around] Nooooo—oh! [looks to Wirt] I see you.

Wirt: [looks to Greg, still worried] Yeah, I—see you too, Greg.

Beatrice: [impatient, annoyed and hurried] Hey, not to be obnoxious, but an abandoned ghost town doesn't seem like it's gonna be that useful getting you guys home.

[Wirt gives a silent, indignant look to Beatrice, then clears his throat and walks stage left off-screen to another house, which we cut to.]

Wirt: There's gotta be somebody. [approaches the front door, left ajar] Somewhere.

Wirt: [knocks three times] Excuse me. Anyone here? [he slowly pulls the door open and it creaks] Hello?

[Inside the house is a sitting area. On the gingham-clothed table is a turkey with its head down. The turkey lifts its head with a fleshy noise.]

Wirt: [awkwardly] Oh. — Sorry. Uh — I'm — looking for a ph—um. [the turkey blinks and Wirt's voice gets more awkward] Um, I'm sorry! [nervous laughter]

[Wirt leaves the door ajar and the turkey, once he's gone, drops its head back on the table. Returning to the alley, Beatrice is on the hay pile behind the log cabin, and next to that hay pile is Greg's frog.]

Beatrice: Did you find anything?

Wirt: Nope. Where's Greg?

[Suddenly, Greg pops out of the hay pile.]

Greg: Do you hear that?

Wirt: Huh?

[A vocal chanting melody, Pottsfield CM, starts up in the background from a barn down the road. The brothers gasp to each other, and the group all approach the barn with a couple more 'huh?'s.

The song kicks up with the first verse once they look inside the barn: most of the area is filled with straw, but the whole town, what looks like pumpkin-dressed, straw-armed, straw-clothed people, are celebrating. A group of the pumpkin people are dancing around a maypole with a giant pumpkin head up top in shadow. Another shot shows three other pumpkin folk shucking maize with a basket to put them. Two more pumpkin villagers peel apples from a huge pile with paring knives. In the next shot, two pumpkin people - one with a straw nest hat with eggs inside - dance in a circle with a black cat standing on its hind legs and meowing happily. Once more, one pumpkin person watches another bob for apples, but they come up with an apple in one of their eye holes before it falls out with a popping noise.

It cuts back to the group as just one more pumpkin villager approaches from behind.]

Wirt: [taken aback] What the—?

[The villager, named Pilgrim Pumpkin for his pilgrim hat in this wiki transcription for convenience, lightly shoves his way through the group to enter the barn. Of note is all the villagers speak muffled from behind their vegetable costumes.]

Pilgrim Pumpkin: Oho, pardon me there. [turns back to the group] Say, you folks ought to don your vegetables and celebrate the harvest with us.

Wirt: [confused] Uh... [realization] Oh! [relieved chuckling] You're wearing costumes!

Pilgrim Pumpkin: Well, sure. Pumpkins can't move on their own! Can they? [ominous hollow noise as he moves away]

Wirt: [rubbing his neck] Ha. No. Yeah, no.

Greg: Good thing I didn't take this off! [shakes his foot with the pumpkin stuck on it]

Beatrice, sitting on Greg's teapot hat: [wary] You guys find this place as creepy as I do, right?

Wirt: [hesitant, shrugging] So, it's some kind of weird cult, where they wear vegetable costumes, and dance around a big thing. [unsure] They seem nice enough.

Beatrice: Okay. You're in denial. That's fine. [suspicious] But I'm just saying... Something feels off about this place.

[The camera cuts to one pumpkin person carving a jack-o'-lantern with a similar face carved into it as the pumpkin on their own head. There's a creaking sound as their head turns to the camera before it comes back to Wirt and the group.]

Wirt: Well, maybe I can find someone here, [shrugs] who'll give us a ride home. Greg, you stay out of trouble. Beatrice, thank you, but you can leave. [waves her off]

Beatrice: [irritated sigh] I can't leave. I'm honor-bound to help you since you guys helped me. That's the—bluebird rules.

Wirt: Ah, okay. [walks off-screen]

Greg: [fake-posh voice] Beatrice, would you care for this dance?

[Greg approaches the 'dance-floor.']

Beatrice: No thanks. [more hurried] No thanks—no thanks!—I said no thank you!

[The camera cuts to the top of the maypole where the large pumpkin head looking thing shifts in the shadow with the sound of an ominous breeze to couple it. Then, the camera goes to Wirt, who approaches and pretends to not pay attention to a pumpkin villager who, in this transcription, will be named Ponytails Villager, on account of their ponytails. While he looks away, Ponytails Villager looks at him.]

Ponytails Villager: Say, aren't you a little too—early?

Wirt: What do you mean?

Ponytails Villager: [tilts head] I mean, it doesn't seem like you're ready to join us just yet.

Wirt: [suspicious confusion] Join you? — Yeah, no, I'm just — passing through.

[The camera closes in, turning, on Ponytails Villager.]

Ponytails Villager: Folks don't tend to "pass through" Pottsfield.

Wirt: [unnerved but trying to hide it] Oh. [strained smile] Yeah?

Ponytails Villager: Yeah. It's nice here.

Wirt: Um. I'm really just looking t-to leave here, [pulls on cape collar] as fast as possible.

[The camera pans stage right to an older-looking pumpkin person holding a cornucopia shell up to their 'ear'. For this transcription, they will be named Gramps Villager.]

Gramps Villager: Eh, what, what? Leave Pottsfield? Who wants to leave Pottsfield?!

[The backing music stops as the pumpkin-dressed villagers turn to the noise.]

Villagers: [hushed whispering] Huh? — What? — He wants to leave Pottsfield.

Greg: [oblivious] Oh, are we leaving already?

Beatrice, flying: [distressed] Let's leave immediately!

[Raspy breathing as a villager closes the barn doors. More suspicious whispering by the other villagers.]

Wirt, backing away: I'm — just trying to get home.

Villager: [suspicious] They're not supposed to be here. Maybe he's here to steal our crops. To ruin our party.

Greg, joining Wirt: [happy] Or take off our pumpkin shoes!

Wirt: [nervous chuckle] Uh — no, I, uh —

[There's a deep chuckle from above, and Wirt's nervous smile falls as he looks up in shock. The maypole and its pumpkin head, Enoch, starts talking, and lowers his pumpkin face to look at the group as he talks.]

Enoch: [friendly] Well, now, hold on everybody. Heh, let's not jump to any conclusions.

Greg: [surprised] Woah.

Gramps Villager: Enoch, what shall we do with them?

Beatrice, taking off: I-I'm done.

Enoch: [sharp inhale, still friendly] Well, now, [detaches some hay strands to gesture like hands] let's see here, boys. How'd you end up in this little town of ours?

[Wirt backs up a few more paces despite them being completely surrounded.]

Wirt: [haltingly] Well, we were trying to get home. We came into town from the woods. Ehh, we saw your farms, and your houses, and thought, "hey, here's a normal place with normal people."

Greg: [cutting in happily] And we both stepped on pumpkins!

Wirt: Y-Yeah! A-And then, we heard the music from the barn, and, well—uh—h-how about we just leave?

Enoch: [chuckle, his friendliness becomes passive-aggressive] Heh, now let me get this straight: you come to our town, you trample our crops—you interrupt our private engagement—and now you wanna leave?

Wirt: Uh—yes.

Greg: You'll never convict! [stomps his pumpkin foot] You have no proof!

[Gramps Villager brings a struggling Beatrice forward.]

Gramps Villager: This one's trying to escape.

Beatrice: [protesting] Let me go! I don't know these clowns!

Enoch: Children... it saddens me that you don't wish to stay here with us, [menacing, hay tendrils moving ominously] particularly because I simply have to punish you for your transgressions.

Beatrice: I told you this place was bad news!

Enoch: [singsong voice] So by~ the order of the Pottsfield Chamber of Commerce, [deeper voice] I find you guilty of trespassing, destruction of property, [lurches to face-level with the group] disturbing the peace, [leans closer, ominous] and murder.

Wirt: [incredulous] M-Murder?!

Enoch: [leans back, lighthearted] Oho, no, not murder. But for those other crimes, I sentence you to... a few hours of manual labor.

Wirt: Wait, what? Really? That's it?

[Cut to a montage set to a shortened version of Patient is the Night.

For the first shot, we see the main group all have a ball-and-chain for their manual labor (save for Greg's Frog). Beatrice is trying to drag herself away from hers to be free, while Greg happily balances his frog on a rake. Wirt, with gloves, gathers straw into small piles with a pitchfork, and Beatrice looks over in annoyance.

The second shot, the sky starts to get a little cloudy as Greg carries his frog over by a garden shed in the middle of the pumpkin patch. Wirt follows, then approaches one of the pumpkins with a pair of gardening shears, gloveless. He snips the pumpkin free by the stem and picks it up, before we cut suddenly to a clearing in a field of corn. There sits a turkey-drawn cart full of pumpkins, Greg's frog hanging over one side, arms dangling, and Beatrice laying on her back, wings splayed, seemingly giving up on breaking free for the moment. As Wirt leans an arm against one of the two turkeys attached to the cart, Gregory approaches the back with a pumpkin to load into the cart. Wirt wipes some sweat off his brow. Then, one of the turkeys swipes his hat, causing him to try and diver for it repeatedly while the turkeys gaggle, the thief of his hat wearing it proudly. Greg and Beatrice look, but Beatrice looks back with suspicion as a group of villagers pop their heads ominously over the stalks of corn to spy on their work.

In the next shot, the four are working in the corn field proper now, picking ears of corn to set in baskets. Greg's Frog sits and looks back with worry for some reason. Beatrice watches, as well. Wirt, picking an ear, almost goes to bite it, but spots a villager spying on him only a few feet away and decides to set it in his basket instead. Greg happily pulls down a stalk to pluck each corn ear off of it, tossing it in his basket with his frog happily watching, and then finally letting the stalk fly back up to hit Wirt in the face and knock him over. Wirt lands on the ground next to Beatrice, who gives him a disapproving look—he returns the look in kind.

The short montage closes out with the sky at its cloudiest, casting shadow on a villager wearing a scarf and holding a white flag in the outskirts of the patch. Wind blows through both the flag and the scarf ominously as the song ends.

After the song, the boys are seen in an empty stretch of barren land bordering the fields. They're digging deep ditches with Greg's frog by Greg, and Beatrice by Wirt.]

Wirt: [grunts as he digs, relieved] Ha-ha! [to Beatrice] Just a few hours of manual labor, [wipes his forehead] and we're almost done.

Beatrice: And then what are you going to do? — Just wander around, this way and that way, through the woods, forever more?

Wirt: Uhh—uhh, maybe we'll just stay in Pottsfield. It's nice here! [unsure chuckle, sigh] I don't know. [more defensive] I don't know.

Beatrice: [suspicious] Why do they even have you digging these holes?

Wirt: [unsure] Plantin' seeds, or—something...

Beatrice: [gasp, fake delight] Maybe they're gonna bury you out there!

[Wirt blows a disbelieving raspberry.]

Greg: [excited] Hey! Buried treasure!

Wirt: Woah, really? [smug] See, Beatrice? [to Greg] What'd you find?

Greg, crawling out of his ditch: [excited] A skeleton!

[Background music becomes an eerie carnival organ. Wirt exclaims in surprise, Beatrice looks amusedly.]

Wirt: [shocked realization] We're digging our own— [gasps; to Beatrice, anxious] I-I-I was wrong. I was wrong all along. I-I don't know how to get us home—u-use your little feet to pick our locks!

Beatrice: [smug] Oho! Now you want my help?

Wirt: [annoyed] I don't want your help, but—

[The music turns to a funeral jazz march, like that performed in New Orleans, with a trumpet, snare drum. Wirt looks up to see a procession past the field with four white flags, Enoch manning the parade tied up to the frontmost flags.]

Wirt: [desperate] Yes! I want your help! Beatrice, serious—

Gramps Villager, offscreen: Your time is up!

[Suddenly, every villager is here looking down at the boys. Wirt yells in surprise! The funeral march music continues, revealing Enoch as he looks down at them all.]

Gramps Villager: Them holes been dug?

Wirt: [nervous] Uh... yeah...

Gramps Villager: Splendid! Well then—

Wirt: [panicking] B-But, no.

Gramps Villager: [ominous] No?

Wirt: Uh...

Beatrice, offscreen: Psst!

[Wirt looks down. Beatrice is using a tiny, bird-sized shovel to bang against her ball-and-chain with her beak.]

Beatrice: [hushed] Keep stalling!

Wirt: [nervous but trying to hide it, gesturing] Right. Yeah! Uh, you know, we were digging, and—there were too many rocks. You guys don't like rocks—right?

[Villagers murmur over one another.]

Ponytails Villager: [hushed] I don't think we do...

Gramps Villager: No, we don't like rocks.

Ponytails Villager: [hushed] I don't think so...

[Beatrice, freed from her ball-and-chain, hurries over to Greg's ditch to free him.]

Wirt: [grimace-smile] See? [distractedly looking at Greg] So, we were like, "We should get rid of these rocks."

[More Villager commentary.]

Pilgrim Villager, nodding: [hushed] Well, that's a good idea.

[As Wirt talks, Beatrice frees Greg, and they, along with Greg's Frog, run away.]

Wirt: Right? [nervous chuckle] Yeah, so, we were getting rid of the rocks, and— [notices Beatrice and Greg running] —huh? Huh? [under his breath] What? [shocked] They left me...

Pilgrim Villager: —So, what happened to the rocks?

Wirt: [hesitating] Uh... the rocks.

[As Wirt flounders in his lie, a skeleton climbs out of the ditch Greg dug with two femurs in each hand.]

Wirt: Yeah, they—they were, um, you know—they—they—they got in the way of all the—well, the dirt, you know, and... [eyes widen, he turns back to see the skeleton bonking the femurs against its skull rhythmically; frightened] W-Woahh, ohohh?!

[The background music turns to a happy tune. Wirt stares dumbfounded at the skeleton, while the villagers greet the skeleton warmly and crowd around it.]

Gramps Villager: [happy] Welcome back, Larry!

Ponytails Villager: [relieved] He looks exactly the same!

Wirt: [under his breath] What in the...?

[The skeleton makes a show of putting a jack-o'-lantern over its skull, then jumps into a gourd for the torso and sticks its limbs out.]

Larry: Whooooooop—woo! [grunts as he dons the gourds]

Villagers, cheering: Yeah, Larry! Woo! Yeah, go, Larry, look at that guy go!

[Another skeleton climbs out of the ditch Wirt dug while he's still inside.]

Wirt, moving out of the way: [screams in fear and surprise]

[The skeleton approaches a villager, who offers a jack-o'-lantern.]

Villager: [happily] Edward, this one's for you!

Wirt: [to himself, realization] They're all... skeletons!

[A deep-voiced pumpkin villager with braids, named Braids Villager in this particular transcription, addresses Wirt.]

Braids Villager: [lighthearted] Thanks for diggin' up the life of the party!

[The villagers dance and frolic below Enoch, who sways happily.]

Enoch: Ah, what a wonderful harvest... [rumbling as he turns to address Wirt, deeper-voiced] And what about you? You sure you wanna leave?

Wirt, halfway out the ditch, lying in the dirt: Me? [hasty] Yes.

Enoch: [resigned] Oh, well. [turns away] You'll join us someday...

Wirt: Uh...

Beatrice, on the ground by the crops: Psst! [annoyed whispering] Why are you still here?!

Wirt: [defensive whispering] What do you mean?! You guys left me!

[Beatrice gestures a wing to point at her ankle. Wirt looks at his own ankle, and it's revealed the ball-and-chain was broken off of him this whole time.]

Wirt: [small voice] Oh.

Beatrice, backing away: Come on!

[Cut to the woods, where Greg and Greg's Frog are sitting on the ground moving their arms in sync up and down while Greg hums happily. Beatrice sits on Greg's teapot hat and looks back to where Wirt is hurriedly running into view.]

Wirt, hunched over and out of breath: Oh—a-are they chasing us?

Greg and Beatrice: Nope.

Wirt: [sigh of relief; then defensively] I-I thought you guys—

Beatrice: [knowing look] You're welcome.

Wirt: [pause] Thank you. — I guess we're even now, huh? [crosses arms] You're not honor-bound to help us out anymore.

Beatrice: [sighs] I wish. But you weren't actually in any danger with those weirdos.

Wirt: [happy realization] Ohhh yeah! Then, you still have to help us get home!

Greg, after thinking for a moment: [triumphant] I got it! [stands, holds up his frog] I wish Wirt Jr. had fingernails so he could play the guitar better.

[Crickets.]

Beatrice: Soooo—yeah, I'll bring you to Adelaide. I mean, that's where I'm going anyway.

Greg: Why are you going to Adelaide's?

[The group start off deeper into the forest; a similar pastoral theme to the beginning of the episode plays in the background.]

Beatrice: [wistful] I guess in some ways, I'm trying to get home, too.

Wirt: That's vague. What does that mean?

Beatrice: [dismissive] I don't have to tell you anything.

Wirt: Well, I sure hope Adelaide is more helpful than that Woodsman was.

[As they disappear into the forest, the scene changes to a field with a cluttered wooden rail fence. A brown leaf, blown by the wind, sways round and round toward the background.]

Wirt: [voiceover] I think his directions were... not very good.

[The leaf gets stuck between a vertical and a horizontal piece of wood intersecting on the fence, and the pastoral theme playing in the background has an ominous noise end the tune, and the episode.]

Chapter 3 Schooltown Follies

[ MYSTERIOUS CLASSICAL PIANO

PLAYS ]

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

>> DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS OR

HOW SHE IS OR WHEN, WHAT, WHY

SHE IS

BUT AS FOR WHERE SHE IS, SHE

IS WHERE WE WILL GO

TO ADELAIDE, TO ADELAIDE

COME ON AND JOIN THE ADELAIDE

PARADE

>> Both: NO.

>> ADELAIDE, TO ADELAIDE

LET'S GO TO ADELAIDE'S HOUSE

[ SOUR NOTE PLAYS ]

I NEED TO FIX THAT LAST PART,

BUT THAT'S THE IDEA.

SO, BEATRICE, YOU SING THE HIGH

PART.

WIRT, YOU SING THE REALLY HIGH

PART.

>> WHAT?

OH.

>> AND --

>> NOBODY IS SINGING ANYTHING

ANYMORE.

AND, WIRT, KEEP MOVING.

>> BUT I-I HAVE TO -- UGH.

ALL RIGHT.

>> BUT WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING

FUN.

>> YOU KNOW, WE REALLY DON'T.

WE CAN JUST KEEP WALKING

SILENTLY, YOU KNOW?

AND -- UGH.

WIRT, LET'S GO. COME ON.

>> SORRY, SORRY.

>> BUT SHOULDN'T WE --

>> GREG, DON'T YOU WANT TO BE

MORE LIKE YOUR BROTHER -- JUST

ALWAYS DOING WHAT YOU'RE TOLD...

>> HUH?

>> ...JUST A PATHETIC PUSHOVER

WHO RELIES ON OTHERS TO MAKE ALL

HIS DECISIONS?

>> HEY! WHAT?

I'M NOT A PUSHOVER.

>> HOLD ON, WIRT.

LET ME GET TO MY POINT.

>> [ SCOFFS ] FINE.

>> SEE, GREG?

NO WILLPOWER WHATSOEVER.

>> HRMPH!

>> YOU NEED TO BE MORE LIKE

THAT.

>> BUT THAT DOESN'T REALLY SOUND

THAT FUN.

>> THE WORLD IS A MISERABLE

PLACE, GREG.

LIFE ISN'T FUN.

>> [ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

THEN I'LL DO WHAT I NEED TO DO,

I GUESS.

>> THANK YOU.

WE'LL JUST FOCUS ON GETTING YOU

GUYS TO ADELAIDE'S SO I CAN WASH

MY HANDS OF THIS WHOLE AFFAIR,

AND IF YOU COULD PICK UP THE

PACE A BIT, THAT'D BE GREAT,

OKAY?

OKAY?

HEY, WHERE'S GREG.

>> OH.

UH, WONDERED OFF, I GUESS.

>> CHEESE AND CRACKERS!

>> WE NEED TO DO OUR PART TO

MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE!

>> [ CROAKS ]

>> [ LAUGHS ] YEAH.

[ BELL TOLLING ]

HUH?

WHOA!

[ MID-TEMPO RAGTIME MUSIC

PLAYS ]

SCHOOL?!

[ SCOFFS ]

NOT TODAY.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

>> GREG!

[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]

GREG!

GREG?

>> EXCUSE ME?

[ MUSIC STOPS, WIND BLOWS ]

PLEASE, TAKE YOUR SEAT,

CHILDREN.

YOU'RE LATE.

YOU KNOW THE RULES -- "ONCE THE

BELL HAS RUN, CLASS HAS BEGUN."

>> OH, SORRY, EVERYBODY.

SORRY.

NO, HE DOESN'T HAVE A BRAIN.

HE CAN'T LEARN ANYTHING.

LET'S GO, WIRT. COME ON.

[ WHISTLES ] HERE, BOY.

>> WHAT? DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?

I CAN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE I'M TOO

BUSY DOING WHAT I'M TOLD.

>> WHAT?

WHAT ARE YOU --

[ SIGHS ]

NO, NO. LET'S GO.

>> OH, NO.

SEE, I'M A PUSHOVER, REMEMBER?

I HAVE TO DO WHAT SHE TELLS ME

TO DO.

>> OHH.

WIRT, YOUR BROTHER COULD BE IN

TROUBLE SOMEWHERE.

[ KNOCK ON WINDOW ]

>> [ HUMS "HELLO" ]

[ HUMMING ]

MNH-MNH.

>> [ CROAKS ]

>> [ GASPS ]

HA-HA! YEAH!

>> [ SIGHS ]

BLUEBIRD'S HAVE A SHORT LIFE

SPAN.

YOU TWO ARE LITERALLY KILLING ME

EVERY MOMENT I'M FORCED TO SPEND

WITH YOU.

>> OH.

>> YOUNG MAN, I WILL NOT STAND

FOR SUCH NONSENSE IN MY

CLASSROOM.

I GOT ENOUGH NONSENSE FROM THAT

NO GOOD, TWO-TIMING, LOW-DOWN

HANDSOME MAN OF MINE.

[ DRAMATIC PIANO PLAYS ]

OH, JIMMY BROWN, WHY DID YOU

HAVE TO LEAVE ME SO?

AND NOW, WITH MY FATHER

THREATENING TO CLOSE THE SCHOOL

AND THAT WILD GORILLA ON THE

LOOSE, WHY, JIMMY, I JUST HAVE

ONE THING TO SAY...

[ UPBEAT COUNTRY WESTERN MUSIC

PLAYS ]

"A" IS FOR THE APPLE THAT HE

GAVE TO ME

BUT I FOUND A WORM INSIDE

"B" IS FOR BELOVED THAT I...

>> OUF.

THAT LADY'S GOT SOME BAGGAGE.

[ MUSIC STOPS ]

>> WHAT'S THAT?

YOUNG MAN, GO TO THE DUNCE BOX.

>> OH. SURE, OKAY.

>> NO, NO.

>> SURE.

>> NO, NO.

>> [ HUMMING HAPPILY ]

>> AW.

>> NOW, WHERE WERE WE?

[ MUSIC RESUMES ]

OH, YES.

"G" IS FOR THE GENTLEMAN I

THOUGHT HE WAS

WHEN HE FIRST SAID HI

>> SO, MY THEORY IS HOT DOGS ARE

NOT ACTUALLY DOGS, REGARDLESS OF

WHAT THEY TEACH YOU IN SCHOOL.

BUT YOU GUYS DON'T GO TO SCHOOL,

HUH?

I'm gonna stick with you guys.

[ WATER SLOSHES ]

HA-HA!

HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.

LET'S PLAY "TWO OLD CAT."

DO YOU GUYS KNOW HOW TO PLAY

"TWO OLD CAT"?

IT'S FUN. I'LL SHOW YOU.

HERE WE GO.

HERE'S ONE OLD CAT.

>> [ MEOWS ]

>> [ MEOWS WEAKLY ]

>> YOU FOUND ANOTHER ONE!

WAIT. NO.

I THINK THAT CAT IS TOO OLD.

>> ROWR.

>> SORRY, KITTY.

WE'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER OLD

CAT.

>> HEY, JEFFREY, I THINK THERE'S

ONE BEHIND YOU!

[ RASPY BREATHING ]

>> [ ROARS ]

>> GORILLA!

RUN!

>> [ GROWLS QUIZZICALLY ]

>> AND "Y," YES, WHY IS THE

QUESTION THAT'S ON MY MIND

OH, WHY?

>> HEY, DUNCE. THIS IS DREADFUL!

>> GOOD.

I'M GLAD YOU FEEL THAT WAY.

>> [ GROANS ]

[ BELL TOLLING ]

>> I REMEMBER LIKE --

HUH?

>> [ GASPS ] GORILLA!

>> [ BABBLING ]

>> MEALTIME ALREADY?

WELL, COME ALONG CHILDREN.

[ HOT JAZZ PLAYS ]

>> [ GRUNTS ]

[ ALL PANTING ]

[ ROARS ]

>> [ GRUNTING ]

[ SPITS ]

>> HUH?

AAH!

>> MM-HMM.

[ SLOW JAZZY PIANO PLAYS ]

>> WE DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR

MEALTIME.

MY FATHER WILL BE VISITING

TODAY, AND WE'LL NEED TO BE ON

OUR BEST BEHAVIOR.

[ HOT JAZZ PLAYS ]

>> QUICK! IN HERE!

[ PANTING ]

[ MUSIC FADES OUT, DRAMATIC

PIANO PLAYS ]

>> OH, BOY! MEALTIME!

THIS IS WAY BETTER THAN BEING

CHASED BY A GORILLA.

>> [ SNIFFS ]

[ MUNCH! MUNCH! MUNCH! ]

[ GROANS ]

>> AW, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

MM. KIND OF BLAND.

>> [ SNORTS ]

[ SIGHS ]

>> HEY, NOBODY ORDERED YOU TO

EAT YET.

>> YEAH, BUT...

MM.

>> HMM.

[ HUMS QUIZZICALLY ]

>> OHH.

>> HEY! I KNOW WHAT TO DO!

HERE, MISS LANGTREE.

PLAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

[ WILD DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> OH, LIKE THIS?

[ PLEASANT MID-TEMPO SWING

MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> MM...GOOD ENOUGH.

[ GRUNTS ]

OH, POTATOES AND MOLASSES

IF YOU WANT SOME, OH, JUST ASK

US

THEY'RE WARM AND SOFT LIKE

PUPPIES AND SOCKS

FILLED WITH CREAM AND CANDY

ROCKS

OH, POTATOES AND MOLASSES

THEY'RE SO MUCH SWEETER THAN

ALGEBRA CLASS

IF YOUR STOMACH IS GRUMBLIN'

AND YOUR MOUTH STARTS MUMBLIN'

THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO KEEP

YOUR BRAIN FROM CRUMBLIN'

OH, POTATOES AND MOLASSES

IF YOU CAN'T SEE 'EM PUT ON

YOUR GLASSES

THEY'RE SHINY AND LARGE LIKE A

FISHERMAN'S BARGE

YOU KNOW YOU EAT ENOUGH WHEN

YOU START SEEING STARS

OH, POTATOES AND MOLASSES

IT'S THE ONLY THING LEFT ON

YOUR TASK LIST

THEY'RE SHORT AND STOUT,

THEY'LL MAKE EVERYONE SHOUT

FOR POTATOES

AND MOLASSES

FOR POTATOES AND --

[ BLAM! ]

>> THAT'S ENOUGH!

>> FATHER.

>> IS THIS WHAT I'VE BEEN PAYING

FOR?!

>> HEY, WE JUST WANTED TO HAVE A

LITTLE FUN.

>> I DIDN'T INVEST IN THIS

SCHOOL FOR FUN.

I THOUGHT WE WERE TRYING TO DO

IMPORTANT WORK HERE, TEACHING

ANIMALS TO COUNT AND SPELL.

>> WE ARE!

OH, PLEASE, FATHER, DON'T CLOSE

THE SCHOOL.

IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

>> I SHOULD SAY IT WON'T.

>> THIS...

>> PBHT!

>> ...THIS...

>> [ MEOWS ]

>> ...AND THIS ARE ALL COMING

WITH ME.

NOW SEND THEM TO BED!

>> YOU HEARD FATHER.

OFF TO BED WITH YOU.

[ SLOW WISTFUL JAZZ PLAYS ]

>> [ SIGHS ]

>> [ WHIMPERING ]

>> [ SNIFFLES ]

>> I JUST WANTED TO HAVE FUN,

CHANGE THE WORLD, AND MAKE IT A

BETTER PLACE.

BUT I JUST MADE EVERYTHING

WORSE.

>> [ CROAKS ]

>> OKAY, WIRT, I'LL ADMIT IT --

YOU SEEM LIKE A PUSHOVER, BUT

YOU'RE NOT.

>> OH?

>> DEEP DOWN IN YOUR HEART,

YOU'RE A STUBBORN JERK.

WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GIVE THIS UP?

>> MAYBE NEVER.

MAYBE I'LL NEVER GIVE THIS UP.

>> HMM.

YEAH!

WIRT'S RIGHT -- NEVER GIVE UP!

COME ON, WIRT.

LET'S GO SAVE THE DAY.

>> OKAY, IF YOU SAY SO.

>> [ SCOFFS ]

>> COME ON.

[ OWL HOOTING ]

>> SO, WHAT'S THE PLAN, GREG?

>> PLAN?

OHH. I DON'T KNOW.

>> OHH!

WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT MAKING A

PRIMER SCHOOL FOR ANIMALS WAS A

BAD IDEA?

MY LIFE SAVINGS, MY HOME --

EVERYTHING I HAD WENT INTO THAT

DEAR, DEAR SCHOOL.

AND NOW I'M FORCED TO SELL THESE

INSTRUMENTS JUST TO KEEP IT

OPEN.

ALL THE WHILE THAT LOATHSOME

JIMMY BROWN IS OFF GALLIVANTING

WHO KNOWS WHERE!

NOT TO MENTION THAT WILD GORILLA

ON THE LOOSE.

[ SIGHS ]

IF ONLY SOMETHING WOULD GO RIGHT

FOR A CHANGE.

[ SNORING ]

>> OKAY, I THINK HE'S ASLEEP.

LET'S GO STEAL HIS STUFF.

>> Both: WHAT?

[ PASTORAL MUSIC PLAYS, BIRDS

CHIRPING ]

>> [ SNORING ]

[ GROANS ]

[ GASPS ]

THE INSTRUMENTS!

THEY'VE BEEN STOLEN!

WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?!

[ MID-TEMPO MARCH PLAYS ]

HUH?

>> [ HUMMING ]

[ INDISTINCT CHATTER ]

>> HERE YOU GO.

>> OH, HERE YOU GO, SONNY.

[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]

>> WHAT IS THIS?

>> IT'S A BENEFIT CONCERT FOR

THE SCHOOL.

>> AH, ISN'T IT GRAND -- ALL

THESE FINE PEOPLE GIVING OUT

OF THE GOODNESS OF THEIR HEARTS?

[ SIGHS ]

NOT LIKE MY JIMMY BROWN.

[ DRAMATIC PIANO PLAYS ]

>> OHH, HERE WE GO.

>> ALL HE EVER DID WAS STEAL MY

HEART AWAY.

>> GORILLA!

>> AAH!

>> [ ROARS ]

[ CROWD SCREAMING ]

>> YOUNG MAN, DO SOMETHING!

>> UH...

[ SHOUTS WEAKLY ]

WHOA!

>> [ GROANS ]

[ ALL GASP ]

>> [ GRUNTS LOUDLY ]

FINALLY.

>> JIMMY?

>> THAT'S RIGHT, DARLIN'.

I WAS THE GORILLA.

>> BUT WHY DID YOU DO IT?

>> GOT A JOB IN THE CIRCUS SO'S

I COULD FINALLY BUY YA THAT

WEDDING RING.

BUT WHEN I GOT STUCK IN THE

DANG SUIT, EVERYBODY WAS TOO

DOGGONE SCARED TO HELP ME OUT.

>> AW, JIMMY.

OH!

>> DARLIN'.

[ ALL CHEER ]

>> [ CHITTERING, GRUNTING ]

>> [ SNIFFLES ]

>> I GUESS THE WORLD REALLY IS

AS SWEET AS POTATOES AND

MOLASSES.

>> OH, POTATOES AND MOLASSES

IF YOU WANT SOME...

>> SO, WANT ME TO TELL GREG IT'S

TIME TO GET GOING?

>> NAH, LET HIM HAVE HIS FUN.

>> FILLED WITH CREAM AND CANDY

AND ROCKS

>> HEY, WIRT.

>> YEAH?

>> TIE YOUR SHOE.

>> HMM.

OH. MM. OKAY.

>> ...ALGEBRA CLASS

IF YOUR STOMACH IS GRUMBLIN'

AND YOUR MOUTH...

[ MYSTERIOUS CLASSICAL PIANO

PLAYS ]

Chapter 4: Songs of the Dark Lantern

[ WIND RUSHING, PASTORAL MUSIC

PLAYING ]

[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ]

[ PASTORAL MUSIC PLAYING ]

[ WIND WHISTLING ]

>> STOP!

NO!

[ SHOUTS ]

OH, NO!

THE BEAST IS UPON ME!

[ DUCK QUACKS ]

>> SHH!

>> GREG, IS THERE A BEAST OUT

THERE?

>> MMM...

I FOUND A DUCK.

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE EGGS

FROM A DUCK?

I'M HUNGRY.

>> WHAT ABOUT THE BEAST?

>> THE BEAST IS UPON ME!

>> I DIDN'T SEE ANY BEAST.

THAT DRIVER IS NUTS.

MMM, NUTS.

>> WHEW! WELL, THAT'S GOOD.

>> GOOD?!

THAT CRAZY DRIVER'S TAKING US

WAY OFF COURSE!

>> REALLY?

>> YEAH, WHO KNOWS WHERE WE ARE

BY NOW WITH THAT GUY ACTING ALL

BANANAS.

>> OOH, BANANA NUT DUCK BREAD.

[ LIGHTNING STRIKES ]

>> [ WHINNIES ]

[ ALL SHOUT, DUCKS SQUAWKING ]

>> WHOA-AH!

>> WELL, FINALLY SOME GOOD LUCK.

LET'S GO TO THIS CREEPY TAVERN

AND ASK FOR SOME DIRECTIONS.

>> BUT...

[ LIGHTNING STRIKES ]

[ SIGN CREAKING ]

>> [ NEIGHING, CRYING ]

>> BUT IT'S CREEPY.

WHY DON'T YOU GUYS GO ASK FOR

DIRECTIONS, AND I'LL JUST WAIT

OUT -- NO, WAIT, I-I DON'T WANT

TO BE OUT HERE BY MYSELF.

HOW ABOUT YOU GUYS --

>> JUST GO TO THE TAVERN!

>> OKAY!

BUT YOU ASK FOR DIRECTIONS.

>> FINE, YEAH, I'LL DO

EVERYTHING.

>> I'M HUNGRY.

>> [ GRUNTS ]

>> Go on!

>> I-IT'S STUCK.

OH.

[ DOG SPUTTERING ]

E-EXCUSE ME, THERE.

EXCUSE ME.

HMM?

>> [ WHISTLING ]

[ DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]

[ WHISTLING CONTINUES ]

[ DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC CONTINUES ]

>> YOU. WAIT. HERE.

I'LL GET SOME FOOD.

>> WELL, AT LEAST IT HAS MUSIC.

>> WELL, HEY, THERE, PEACH POT.

WHATCHA DOING AROUND -- HEY,

WHAT'S THAT BIRD YOU GOT THERE?

>> IT'S A --

>> I AM BEATRICE!

THESE TWO SWEET KIDS AND I GOT A

BIT LOST IN THE -- AAH!

[ GASPS ]

>> NO BIRDS ALLOWED IN MY

TAVERN!

>> NO BIRDS ALLOWED IN YOUR --

>> IT'S A BAD OMEN WHEN A

BLUEBIRD ENTERS THROUGH YOUR

DOOR.

IT'S BAD LUCK!

>> LADY, BLUEBIRDS ARE GOOD

LUCK!

WE BRING JOY AND HAPPINESS TO

THE -- AAH!

>> GOOD LUCK, BAD LUCK -- I

DON'T NEED ANY OF IT!

>> CURSE YOU, LADY! CURSE YOU!

YOU'LL DIE SOMEDAY, AND I'LL

LAUGH -- LAUGH!

[ LAUGHS ]

>> OHH!

>> FORGET THIS. I'M OUT OF HERE.

WIRT, YOU GET DIRECTIONS.

>> W-WAIT, NO.

I-I DON'T WANT TO --

>> JUST DO IT!

>> WHO ARE YOU TWO ANYWAY,

BRINGING BAD LUCK TO MY TAVERN?

>> I'M WIRT, AND THIS IS

GREGORY.

>> [ SNORTS ]

>> AND THAT'S A HORSE!

>> THAT'S GREAT, BUT WHO ARE

YOU?

>> I'M...WIRT.

I'M -- I'M JUST A-A GUY, I-I

GUESS.

UM, W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

>> WELL, HE'S THE BUTCHER...

>> I'M THE BUTCHER.

>> ...THE BAKER...

>> YEAH!

>> ...THE MIDWIFE...

>> [ COUGHS ]

>> ...THE MASTER AND

APPRENTICE...

THE TAILOR.

>> [ GROANING ]

>> AND I'M THE TAVERN KEEPER.

WHO ARE YOU?!

>> I'M HUNGRY!

>> I-I-I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T REALLY LIKE LABELS.

I'M JUST SORT OF, LIKE, MYSELF,

YOU KNOW?

>> MAYBE HE'S SIMPLE.

>> NO, I-I'M JUST [SIGHS] I'M

JUST LOST.

SEE, W-WE'RE TRYING TO GET TO --

>> I'M THE HIGHWAYMAN.

>> OKAY, GOOD TO KNOW.

WELL, SO, YOU SEE --

>> I'M THE HIGHWAYMAN

I MAKE ENDS MEET

JUST LIKE ANY MAN

I WORK WITH MY HANDS

IF YOU CROSS MY PATH

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

I'LL KNOCK YOU OUT

DRAG YOU OFF THE ROAD

STEAL YOUR SHOES FROM OFF YOUR

FEET

I'M THE HIGHWAYMAN

AND I MAKE ENDS MEE-E-E-E-T

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> [ SIGHS ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CONTINUE

IN DISTANCE ]

>> [ SIGHS ] HEY.

>> [ CRUNCHING ]

>> ARE YOU WEARING LIPSTICK?

>> [ SMACKS LIPS, SNORTING ]

>> TRA LA LA LA

>> HMM? WHO'S OUT THERE?

>> CHOP THE WOOD TO LIGHT THE

FIRE

>> WHAT KIND OF PERSON GOES OUT

CHOPPING TREES IN THE MIDDLE OF

A THUNDERSTORM AT NIGHT?

>> TISN'T MUCH THAT I REQUIRE

>> WHAT KIND OF A PERSON TALKS

TO A HORSE?

>> [ NEIGHS, LAUGHS ]

>> OOH-AH.

[ BOTH GRUNTING ]

>> [ LAUGHING ]

>> HMM.

[ SIGHS ]

>> [ LAUGHING ]

>> EXCUSE ME?

>> HUH?

>> I WAS WONDERING IF YOU KNEW

THE WAY -- UH, I MEAN, I-I'M --

HER NAME IS ADELAIDE, AND --

>> OH, IT'S A GIRL YOU'RE AFTER,

EH?

>> NO! I-I MEAN, YES, BUT --

>> [ LAUGHS ]

OH, YOU'RE NOT THE WITLESS

SIMPLE-MINDED FOOL EVERYBODY

TAKES YOU FOR.

>> EVERYONE THINKS I'M --

>> YOU'RE THE YOUNG LOVER.

>> WHAT? YOUNG LOVER? NO, UH --

>> IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GET

WITH THIS ADELAIDE GAL...

>> I-I DON'T. I-I MEAN, I-I --

>> WELL, HERE'S WHAT YOU DO.

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

WRITE A LOVING LETTER, BOY

THAT SWOOPS AND SWEEPS AND

CURLS

CALLIGRAPHER'S JUST THE THING

TO HELP YOU WIN YOUR GIRL

THEN YOU'LL NEED TO DRESS UP

SMART

THE TAILOR'S HERE BY CHANCE

HE'LL STITCH YOUR TROUSERS,

HOLE YOUR BELT, IN FINE COUTURE

OF FRANCE

YOUR SHOES, MY GOODNESS, HOW

THEY'RE WORN, BUT YOU'RE TOO

YOUNG TO KNOW

NOTHING COURTS A WOMAN'S SCORN

MORE THAN SCUFFS ON THE TOE

THE COBBLER CAN ATTEND TO

THAT

MEANWHILE, YOU MUST HAVE

CAKE

THE BAKER AND PATISSIER NEED

WORK FOR GOODNESS SAKE

HIGH, DEE, DIDDLY,

UM-DE-DUM-DE-DAY

WHAT A MERRY TIME WE'LL HAVE

UPON YOUR WEDDING DAY

>> WHAT?

>> HIGH, DEE, DIDDLY,

UM-DE-DUM-DE-DAY

THERE'S WORK FOR ALL WHEN

LITTLE BOYS GET MARRIED

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> NO, NO, NO, NO.

Y-YOU GUYS, I-I-I'M NOT GETTING

MARRIED.

I'M JUST TRYING TO FIND --

>> THAT POINTY CONE UPON YOUR

HEAD

>> OH, NO, PLEASE.

>> YOU CAN'T BE WEARING THAT

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC CONTINUES IN

DISTANCE ]

[ THUNDER RUMBLING ]

>> MM. [ SIGHS ]

IF I HAVE TO BE OUTSIDE, THEN

THOSE JOKERS DO, TOO.

>> OH, HEY, BEATRICE!

DO YOU WANT SOME FOOD, TOO?

>> NO.

HOW'S WIRT DOING GETTING

DIRECTIONS?

>> MM, PRETTY GOOD.

>> HIGH, DEE, DIDDLY,

UM-DE-DUM-DE-DAY

WHAT A MERRY TIME WE'LL HAVE

UPON YOUR WEDDING DAY

>> [ SIGHS ]

>> HIGH, DEE, DIDDLY

>> WHAT ABOUT THAT WOODSMAN?

I BET HE KNOWS THESE WOODS

BETTER THAN ANYBODY, HUH?

[ SIGHS ]

ALL RIGHT, HORSE, GOOD RIDDANCE!

>> [ NEIGHS, LAUGHS ]

[ ALL CHEERING ]

>> LOVER!

LOVER!

>> NO, Y-YOU GUYS, ADELAIDE

ISN'T -- I-I'M JUST --

>> YOUNG LOVER, SING US YOUR

LOVE SONG!

>> LOVE SONG?

>> YEAH, LOVER!

SING US YOUR LOVE SONG!

>> NO, I-I-I DON'T HAVE A --

>> All: [ Chanting ] SING,

LOVER, SING!

>> NO.

>> All: SING, LOVER, SING!

>> MIDWIFE, NO. AAH! OHH!

>> All: SING, LOVER, SING!

SING, LOVER, SING!

SING, LOVER, SING!

>> SING, BOY, SING!

>> [ VOCALIZING NERVOUSLY ]

MY NAME IS WIRT, AND HIS NAME

IS GREG

WE'RE RELATED 'CAUSE MY MOM

REMARRIED AND THEN GAVE BIRTH TO

HIM WITH MY STEPDAD

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

[ SIGHS ]

WE'RE NOT FROM AROUND HERE

CAN YOU ALL GIVE ME

SOME DIRECTIONS TODAY?

SO WE CAN BE ON OUR

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

WA-A-A-Y

>> THIS AIN'T NO LOVE SONG.

>> [ SNIFFLING ]

IT'S A METAPHOR.

[ CRYING ]

>> KEEP IT TOGETHER, TAILOR.

>> HEY!

>> UH, YES?

>> I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE!

YOU'RE A PILGRIM!

>> WHAT?

WHAT, LIKE THE -- THE GUYS WHO

EAT TURKEY AND CRANBERRY SAUCE?

>> NO, YOU'RE A PILGRIM!

>> A PILGRIM?

>> YOU'RE A TRAVELER ON A SACRED

JOURNEY.

>> YOU'RE THE MASTER OF YOUR OWN

DESTINY.

>> THE HERO OF YOUR OWN STORY!

>> A PILGRIM.

>> TELL US YOUR FEATS, PILGRIM!

WHAT OTHER CHALLENGES HAVE YOU

OVERCOME?

>> REGALE US WITH YOUR TRAVELS,

PILGRIM!

>> ONE TIME, WIRT FELL ON A

GORILLA.

[ ALL CHEERING ]

AND HELPED ME FIND THIS FROG.

[ ALL CHEERING ]

>> MORE! TELL US MORE!

>> TELL US MORE!

LET THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG!

WE WANT TO HEAR IT!

>> AND, OH, UH, I MET THIS

HELPFUL WOODSMAN WHO TOLD US

WHICH DIRECTION TO GO TO AVOID

THE BEAST.

>> All: [ GASP ] THE BEAST!

>> THE BEAST.

>> OH, GOODNESS.

>> OH, YOU GUYS HAVE HEARD OF

THE BEAST, TOO?

>> WE ALL KNOW THE BEAST,

PILGRIM.

HE LURKS OUT THERE IN THE

UNKNOWN

SEEKING THOSE WHO ARE FAR FROM

HOME

HOPING NEVER TO LET YOU

RETURN

>> [ VOCALIZING ]

OOH-OOH, BETTER BEWARE

OOH-OOH, THE BEAST IS OUT

THERE

OOH-OOH, BETTER BE WISE AND

DON'T BELIEVE HIS LIES

>> [ VOCALIZING ]

>> FOR ONCE YOUR WILL BEGINS

TO SPOIL

HE'LL TURN YOU TO A TREE OF

OIL

AND USE YOU IN HIS LANTERN FOR

TO BURN

>> [ VOCALIZING ]

>> [ BLOWS ]

>> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! LANTERN?

THE WOODSMAN WAS THE GUY WITH

THE WEIRD LANTERN, NOT THE

BEAST.

>> PILGRIM, HE WHO CARRIES THE

DARK LANTERN MUST BE THE BEAST.

>> WHAT?

NO, THE WOODSMAN'S A GOOD GUY.

HE WARNED US OF THE BEAST AND

TOLD US WHICH DIRECTION TO GO TO

AVOID HIM.

>> AND NOW YOU'RE MORE LOST THAN

EVER, HUH?

>> YEAH, BUT...

OH, YEAH, HEY, CAN YOU GIVE US

SOME DIRECTIONS?

OUR FRIEND BEATRICE IS TRYING TO

TAKE US TO ADELAIDE OF THE

PASTURE, THE GOOD WOMAN OF THE

WOODS.

SHE CAN HELP US GET HOME.

>> YOU DON'T NEED DIRECTIONS,

PILGRIM.

YOU FOLLOW THAT COMPASS INSIDE

YOUR HEART.

>> UH...

NO, I THINK WE NEED DIRECTIONS.

>> AAH!

>> [ GASPS ] BEATRICE!

>> GO SAVE YOUR FRIEND AND GET

YOURSELF HOME!

[ ALL CHEERING, SHOUTING ]

>> PILGRIM!

>> YOU GOT IT!

>> UH...

OKAY.

>> NEVER SAY DIE, NEVER SAY DIE!

[ ALL CHEERING ]

>> OH, BOY, I GUESS I'M REALLY

DOING THIS.

HORSE, I'M JUST GONNA PRETEND

LIKE I CAN RIDE YOU, ALL RIGHT?

[ GRUNTS ]

>> [ NEIGHING ]

>> BEATRICE?!

[ CREATURE HOWLING IN DISTANCE ]

BEATRICE?

[ WIND WHISTLING ]

ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE TREES.

>> HALT!

>> [ GASPS ]

>> IT'S YOU!

>> HEY, MR. WOODSMAN!

>> I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE THESE

WOODS!

>> [ GASPS ] BEATRICE!

YOU'RE TURNING HER INTO AN

EDELWOOD TREE!

[ GASPS ]

YOU WERE THE BEAST ALL ALONG!

[ BLOWS ]

>> HUH?!

>> [ WHINNYING ]

>> WHOA! HUH?!

WHAT IS THIS?

>> GREG, GET BEATRICE!

[ GRUNTING ]

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

BOYS, THE BEAST IS UPON YOU!

AGH!

OH!

[ GASPS ]

>> [ NEIGHING ]

>> [ SIGHS ]

>> BEATRICE, YOU ALL RIGHT?

>> YEAH, I JUST -- I SAW A WEIRD

SHADOW AND THEN STUPIDLY FLEW

INTO A TREE AND GOT KNOCKED OUT.

>> OH, WELL, WE'RE ALL RIGHT

NOW.

>> WIRT WAS AMAZING!

HE SANG A SONG, RODE A HORSE,

AND SAVED YOU FROM THE AXE GUY!

HE'S THE PILGRIM!

>> THAT'S ALL WELL AND GOOD, BUT

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET

DIRECTIONS.

>> I DID.

WE JUST GOT DIRECTIONS FROM FRED

BEFORE YOU WOKE UP.

>> WHO?

>> OH, UH, BEATRICE, MEET FRED

THE HORSE.

>> NICE TO HORSE YOUR

ACQUAINTANCE.

>> YOU CAN TALK?!

>> [ NEIGHS, LAUGHS ]

>> IT SEEMS YOU'RE RUNNING OUT

OF OIL, WOODSMAN.

WHY NOT LET ME TAKE THE LANTERN

FOR AWHILE?

>> BEGONE, BEAST!

I'VE FOUGHT YOU FOR THE LANTERN

BEFORE, AND I'LL FIGHT YOU

AGAIN!

>> NO NEED FOR VIOLENCE,

WOODSMAN, BUT BE SURE TO KEEP IT

LIT, OR YOUR DAUGHTER'S FLAME

WILL GO OUT...

FOREVER.

NOW, WHAT DIRECTION DID THOSE

CHILDREN GO?

>> YOU LEAVE THOSE CHILDREN BE!

>> [ LAUGHING EVILLY ]

>> BEAST!

>> TRA LA LA LA

>> BEAST!

>> TRA LA LA LA

CHOP THE WOOD TO LIGHT THE

FIRE

[ MYSTERIOUS CLASSICAL PIANO

MUSIC PLAYING ]

Chapter 5: Mad Love

[ WIND RUSHING, PASTORAL MUSIC

PLAYS ]

[ BIRD CRIES ]

>> YES, TEA! THAT'S MY TRADE!

QUINCY ENDICOTT'S HEALTH TEA.

>> YOUR TEA SOUNDS GOOD.

>> UGH.

NEVER TOUCH THE STUFF MYSELF.

>> BLEH. ME EITHER.

>> HA HA! YES!

IT'S ALL FOR THE MONEY!

YES, THE MONEY TAKES MY MIND OFF

MY TROUBLES -- THE DEEP

SOUL-CRUSHING LONELINESS.

[ SHIVERS ]

YES, THE MORE MONEY I MAKE, THE

BIGGER MY MANSION GETS, THE MORE

LOST I FEEL.

[ SOBS ]

WHY, THIS HOUSE IS SO BIG, I

SOMETIMES DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE

OR WHO I AM!

[ LAUGHS ]

>> YEAH, WELL, I'M GLAD YOUR

NEPHEWS HERE WERE ABLE TO PAY A

VISIT.

>> YEAH, YEAH!

>> YES, WHAT A -- WHAT A

PLEASURE IT IS TO HAVE

COMPANY -- A PERFECT PLEASURE.

A PERFECT PLEASURE, LADS!

A PER-- YES, YES. YEAH, YEAH.

>> HA HA! YEAH! HA HA!

PERFECT PLEASURE, HEATHER...

>> UM, BEATRICE, W-WHY ARE YOU

PRETENDING I'M THIS GUY'S

NEPHEW?

>> WE NEED MONEY.

>> YOU'RE SCAMMING HIM?

>> I WAS THINKING MORE LIKE

FLAT-OUT STEALING FROM HIM.

>> WHAT? NO WAY.

>> WHY NOT?

WE ALREADY STOLE A HORSE.

>> HEY, GUYS.

>> NO, WE DIDN'T.

FRED'S A TALKING HORSE.

HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS.

>> I WANT TO STEAL.

>> [ GASPS ]

WHAT?! YOU GUYS ARE BONKERS.

>> IF WE'RE GOING TO ADELAIDE'S,

WE NEED TWO CENTS.

>> MM-HMM.

>> WELL, YOU GUYS DO WHAT YOU --

TWO CENTS?

ONLY TWO CENTS?

>> YEAH, WE NEED TWO PENNIES TO

TAKE THE FERRY TO ADELAIDE'S

PASTURE.

>> HA HA! COME EVERYONE!

LET US RETIRE TO THE PARLOR AND

ENJOY MY UNNECESSARY EXCESS OF

WEALTH AND LUXURY.

[ LAUGHS ]

>> WELL, MAYBE HE JUST HAS SOME

LOOSE CHANGE SOMEWHERE HE

WOULDN'T MIND US TAKING.

>> MM-HMM, MM-HMM, MM-HMM.

>> HMM.

[ CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> BEHOLD, NEPHEW, THE MAJESTY

OF WEALTH!

>> Both: OOH!

>> [ GASPS ] WHAT WAS THAT?!

UH --

>> WHAT'S WRONG UNKIE ENDICOTT?

YOUR FOREHEAD IS ALL SWEATY.

>> M-MY NERVES.

MY -- MY -- MY NER--

[ CHUCKLES ]

MY NERVES ARE A BUST THESE DAYS.

>> HOW COME?

>> [ GASPS ]

UH, YES, YES.

MAYBE IT WOULD BE -- BE GOOD

TO -- TO TALK TO SOMEONE.

WELL, Y--

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

ACTUALLY, IT ALL BEGAN ONE DAY

WHEN I WAS EXPLORING MY

EXCEEDINGLY LARGE AND

LABYRINTHINE MANOR HERE.

I HAPPENED UPON A SECTION OF THE

HOUSE I DIDN'T EVEN RECALL

BUILDING.

[ LAUGHS ]

ISN'T THAT FUNNY?

MUST'VE BEEN THE OLD WING.

BUT IT WAS LIT IN A RATHER SORT

OF EER-- EERIE -- EERIE LIGHT.

AND I PRESSED ON, AND THEN I-I

SAW THE PAINTING OF THE MOST

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN,

AND THAT'S WHEN THINGS TOOK A

RATHER STRANGE TURN.

FROM THAT DAY ON, I WAS OBSESSED

WITH THE WOMAN IN THE PORTRAIT.

SHE CON-- CONSUMED MY EVERY

THOUGHT.

I'D FALLEN IN LOVE -- HA HA --

WITH A GHOST.

[ BOTH GASP ]

>> OHHHHHHHHH.

>> IT'S TOO BIG. GET A GRIP.

>> OH, I MUST SOUND CRAZY,

MUSTN'T I?

[ CHUCKLES ]

PERHAPS IT'S TIME FOR YOU ALL TO

LEAVE MY TREASURE-FILLED HOME.

>> Both: NO!

>> YEAH, UNKIE!

I WANT TO SEE THE GHOST!

>> OHH, HOW I LONG TO SEE HER

JUST ONCE AGAIN, AS WELL, YES.

>> TO THE PAINTING!

>> YES. YES.

[ LAUGHS ]

>> OOH, BOY! GHOST HUNT!

>> FRED, GO WITH THEM.

BUY ME SOME TIME.

>> WHILE I'M AT IT, I'LL STEAL

OTHER STUFF, TOO.

[ CLOCK TICKING, BELL TOLLING ]

[ GLASS SHATTERS, RUSTLING ]

>> WE'RE SUPPOSED TO JUST BE

LOOKING FOR LOOSE CHANGE.

>> THAT'S WHAT I'M -- [ GASPS ]

>> AAH!

>> OOPS. THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.

>> WELL, LET'S TRY NOT TO BREAK

ANY MORE --

AAH, GAH!

>> OH, HEY.

HEY, YOU DIDN'T CHECK THE

ARMOIRE.

[ TAPPING ]

[ BOTH GASP ]

>> ENDICOTT'S BACK. HIDE!

>> IS THAT THE PORTRAIT?

>> NO.

>> IS THAT THE PORTRAIT?

>> NO.

LOOK, W-W-WHY DON'T I-I JUST

TELL YOU WHEN WE REACH THE

PORTRAIT.

>> OKAY, WHAT'S THE MATTER,

UNKIE?

YOU SEEM TENSE.

>> YOU KNOW ME WELL, NEPHEW.

YES, THE TRUTH IS I'M

FRIGHTENED.

>> OF A GHOST?

GHOSTS ARE JUST FLOATY THINGS.

>> OH, NO, NO, NOT AFRAID OF THE

GHOST.

I MEAN I'M AFRAID WHAT --

WHAT -- WHAT IF THERE IS NO

GHOST?

WHAT IF I'M ON THE -- ON THE --

ON THE -- ON THE BRINK OF --

HMM -- MADNESS.

MAYBE THE DOCTORS WERE RIGHT.

COME ALONG, BOYS!

BACK TO THE PARLOR.

>> THE PARLOR?

WHAT WOULD ANYONE GO THE PARLOR

FOR?

THERE'S NOBODY IN THE PARLOR --

CERTAINLY NOBODY AFTER YOUR

MONEY.

>> YEAH, NO GIVING UP NOW,

OLD MAN.

IT'S GOT TO BE A GHOST!

>> BUT H-HOW CAN YOU BE SO

CERTAIN?

>> 'CAUSE I REALLY, REALLY WANT

TO SEE A GHOST -- REALLY BAD.

>> OH.

>> WHEW.

>> OKAY, I THINK THEY'RE GONE.

BEATRICE? YOU THERE?

>> BAH! YES, SMART GUY.

START SEARCHING FOR CHANGE.

>> UH, I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING IN

HERE.

[ RUSTLING ]

WELL, I-I DON'T THINK THESE

COATS HAVE POCKETS.

>> CHECK THE LINING.

MAYBE SOMEBODY SEWED MONEY INTO

THE FABRIC.

>> NOPE.

DO PEOPLE EVEN DO THAT?

>> I'VE DONE IT ON MY CLOTHES.

>> YOU WEAR CLOTHES?

LIKE A LITTLE BIRD VEST OR

SOMETHING?

[ LAUGHS ]

OR LITTLE BOWS?

>> WHEN I WAS A HUMAN, FOOL.

>> YOU USED TO BE HUMAN?

DID I KNOW THAT?

I-I DON'T THINK I KNEW THAT.

>> JIMINY CRICKET!

LET'S JUST FIND SOME COINS, ALL

RIGHT?

OPEN THE DOOR.

>> IT'S STUCK.

WELL, GUESS WE HAVE TO SPEND

SOME QUALITY TIME TOGETHER.

>> HELP!

>> THE GREENHOUSE.

[ SNIFFS ]

THIS IS WHERE I GROW MY CAMELLIA

FOR TESTING NEW TEAS.

PERHAPS WE SHOULD SAVOR THE --

THE QUIET TRANQUILITY OF THIS --

THIS PLACE.

[ SOOTHING MUSIC PLAYS, WATER

RUNNING ]

[ BOTH SIGH DEEPLY ]

[ TAPPING ]

>> [ SCREECHES ]

>> AAH! AAH! GHOST!

>> AAAAAAAAHH!

>> AAH! AAH!

I CAN'T DO IT!

>> UNCLE ENDICOTT, IT'S JUST A

FUNNY CHICKEN.

>> YES, O-ONE OF MY

PRIZE-WINNING ROASTING PEACOCKS.

YES, WITH ALL THIS LOVE IN MY

BRAIN, I, UH, FORGOT TO FEED

THEM.

IT'S ALMOST AS THOUGH I'VE LOST

MY MIND.

>> WE CAN LOOK FOR THAT AFTER WE

FIND OUR GHOST.

HEAVE-HO!

>> [ Laughing ] YES, YES.

HEAVE-HO.

INTO THE ABYSS...

NEVER TO RETURN.

>> [ GASPS ]

UM, ANYONE WANT TO GO BACK TO

THE PARLOR?

>> HEY. ARE YOU STILL THERE?

>> YES, WIRT. I'M STILL HERE.

>> SO, HOW DID YOU BECOME A

BLUEBIRD?

>> [ SIGHS ]

HEY, WHAT'S THAT?

>> DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

>> HMM.

[ WIND BLOWS ]

THERE'S A BREEZE COMING OUT OF

HERE.

>> OH, YEAH.

WHOA!

>> WHAT?!

>> A SECRET ENTRANCE!

SO, ABOUT YOUR DARK SECRET.

>> HEY, HOW ABOUT YOU TELL ME

YOUR DARK SECRETS INSTEAD, HUH?

>> MY SECRETS ARE TOO SECRET.

HEY, LOOK. LIGHT.

>> WHOA.

NOW WHO'S AVOIDING THE QUESTION?

>> YOU.

>> FINE.

I THREW A ROCK AT A BLUEBIRD,

AND IT CURSED ME AND MY FAMILY,

AND NOW WE'RE ALL BLUEBIRDS.

HAPPY? NOW YOU GO.

>> WHOA.

Y-YOUR WHOLE FAMILY?

>> YEAH.

>> IS THAT WHY YOU'RE GOING TO

ADELAIDE'S -- TO FIX THINGS?

>> THAT WAS THE PLAN, BUT --

[ SIGHS ]

YEAH, THAT WAS THE PLAN.

>> IT'LL ALL WORK OUT.

>> ALL I KNOW IS I AM NEVER

GOING BACK TILL I CAN MAKE THEM

HUMAN AGAIN.

I'D DO PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING.

>> [ SIGHS ]

ALL RIGHT. MY TURN, HUH?

OKAY.

WELL, IT'S WEIRD TO ADMIT IT,

BUT, WELL, I-I HAVE THIS CRUSH

ON THIS GIRL.

>> MM-HMM.

>> THAT'S ALL.

>> THAT'S ALL?

>> AND I THINK ABOUT HER A LOT,

AND I PLAY CLARINET.

>> WIRT!

YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

>> AND I SECRETLY WHISPER POETRY

TO MYSELF IN MY ROOM AT NIGHT.

>> WIRT, THAT STUFF'S NOT WEIRD.

THOSE ARE JUST --

[ SIGHS ]

WELL, THE POETRY THING IS WEIRD.

BUT THOSE ARE JUST CHARACTER

TRAITS.

YOU PLAYED CLARINET?

>> SORT OF.

>> WHAT ELSE DO YOU DO?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

UH -- HEY.

DOES THIS ROOM LOOK DIFFERENT TO

YOU?

>> UH, HOW SO?

>> IT'S LIKE FRENCH-ROCOCO

STYLE.

THAT DOESN'T REALLY SEEM IN LINE

WITH ENDICOTT'S GEORGIAN

SENSIBILITIES.

>> HOW -- WHAT?

WHO ON EARTH AM I TALKING TO

RIGHT NOW?

>> SHOULD I NOT KNOW THAT SORT

OF STUFF?

>> ENDICOTT PROBABLY JUST BUILT

IT WITHOUT THINKING, RIGHT?

>> OR -- WHOA. YEAH.

W-WHAT IF THE GHOST HE WAS

TALKING ABOUT WAS ACTUALLY...

>> [ WHIMPERING ]

>> THIS IS THE ROOM WHERE -- THE

ROOM WHERE I FIRST SAW HER.

>> WHOA!

JUST A BEDROOM?

>> JUST A BEDROOM, MY NEPHEW?

THIS IS THE CHAMBER OF MINE OWN

TRUE LOVE, AND HERE SHE STANDS,

HOVERING ABOVE US LIKE THE

BLINDING SUN.

>> HMM. NO GHOST?

>> NO GHOST?

THEN I AM...

MAD.

>> DON'T BE MAD.

HEY.

WHAT'S THIS SUSPICIOUS MESS OVER

HERE?

>> IT LOOKS LIKE THERE WAS A

STRUGGLE -- A VIOLENT STRUGGLE.

[ PLOP! ]

>> WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING, MY

EQUINE FRIEND?

>> NOTHING, NOTHING.

I'M JUST -- ENDICOTT IS A CRAZED

LUNATIC WHO DID AWAY WITH THE

LADY OF THE HOUSE AND IS NOW

PRETENDING TO OWN THE PLACE!

>> WHAT?!

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, MAKING

ACCUSA-- I SEE IT NOW.

YOU'RE AFTER MY MONEY.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID FOR THIS

MONEY -- T-THE THINGS THESE

FILTHY HANDS HAVE DONE TO MAKE

THIS MONEY?!

>> I'LL NEVER STEAL AGAIN, I

SWEAR.

I'LL GET AN HONEST JOB.

>> AND WHAT SAY YOU, NEPHEW?

>> UH, I'M CONFUSED.

>> WELL, THEN --

[ GHOSTLY WAILING ]

>> [ SCREAMS ]

SHE COMES FOR ME!

>> WAIT, UNKIE! FACE YOUR FEARS!

>> [ GASPS ]

>> [ SIGHS DRAMATICALLY ]

>> [ SIGHS DRAMATICALLY ]

>> MR. ENDICOTT?

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

>> Psst! Ghost.

>> [ GASPS ]

>> WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME,

SPIRIT?

>> SPIRIT?

BUT YOU'RE THE GHOST.

>> MY LADY, I ASSURE YOU I AM

FLESH AND BLOOD AND I --

[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

I WELCOME YOU TO MY HOME.

>> YOUR HOME?

GOOD SIR, YOU'RE IN MY HOME.

>> IMPOSSIBLE!

>> LOOK HERE. YOU SEE?

THIS IS MY CAMELLIA GARDEN FOR

MY TEA COMPANY.

>> MARGUERITTE GREY?!

WHY, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,

MADAM, THIS IS MY TEA GARDEN.

>> QUINCY ENDICOTT?!

>> YOUR GUYS' MANSIONS ARE SO

HUGE THEY'RE ACTUALLY CONNECTED.

>> SO YOU -- YOU MEAN THAT

BEAUTIFUL GHOST WAS REALLY

JUST...

>> THAT DASHING SPECTER WAS

REALLY JUST...

>> Both: MY BUSINESS COMPETITOR?

[ BIRD CRIES ]

>> WELL, GREG, MY BOY, I CAN'T

THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR HELPING ME

TO FACE MY FEARS.

YOU'RE A -- YOU'RE A SWEET BOY

WITH GOOD SENSE.

TAKE THIS PENNY AND START YOUR

FORTUNE.

>> AND HERE'S ONE FROM ME, AS

WELL.

>> HEY, NICE.

NOW WE CAN RIDE THE FERRY.

WELL, EVERYBODY, I THINK IT'S

TIME WE HEAD TO

ADELAIDE OF THE PASTURE,

THE GOOD WOMAN OF THE WOODS.

UH, WHAT ABOUT YOU, FRED?

ARE YOU COMING WITH US?

>> NO, THANKS.

I'VE GOT A REAL JOB NOW AS AN

OFFICIAL TEA HORSE.

>> WELL, THEN I GUESS THAT'S IT.

>> OFF YOU GO, THE LOT OF YOU.

>> GOODBYE.

>> GOODBYE.

>> Both: GOODBYE.

>> AND DON'T FORGET TO BUY

ENDICOTT BRAND TEA.

>> HEY, WIRT.

YOU DID GOOD BACK THERE.

>> YEAH?

>> YOU GOT A LOT MORE GOING FOR

YOU THAN I THOUGHT.

HUH?

[ DISCORDANT ACCORDION PLAYS ]

>> GREG! OUR PENNIES!

WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

>> 'CAUSE UNCLE ENDICOTT PEGGED

ME ALL WRONG -- I'VE GOT NO

"CENTS," NO "CENTS" AT ALL.

>> [ CROAKS ]

[ MYSTERIOUS CLASSICAL PIANO

PLAYS ]

Chapter 6: Lullaby in Frogland

[ WIND RUSHING, PASTORAL MUSIC

PLAYING ]

[ STEAM WHISTLE BLOWS ]

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ FROGS CROAKING ]

>> [ SNORING ]

[ POP! ]

[ STEAM WHISTLE BLOWS ]

[ GLUG! GLUG! GLUG! GLUG! ]

>> HA HA! HA HA!

YEAH! WHOO!

HA HA! HA HA!

>> AHH.

WHAT A NICE WAY TO SPEND OUR

LAST DAY -- GOING TO ADELAIDE'S

HOUSE.

OUR JOURNEY IS FINALLY OVER.

PRETTY SOON I'LL BE BACK HOME.

I WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT

WOODSMAN OR THAT BEAST OR

WHATEVER, AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO

PUT UP WITH US ANYMORE.

BET YOU'RE PRETTY HAPPY, HUH,

BEATRICE?

>> HUH? OH. YEAH. SURE.

>> YOU ALL RIGHT?

YOU SOUND UNCHARACTERISTICALLY

WISTFUL.

>> WHAT? SORRY.

JUST THINKING.

>> HMM.

>> OH, WE'RE GOING TO THE

PASTURE TO MEET ADELAIDE AND ASK

HER IF SHE HAS A WAY TO SEND US

BACK WHERE WE CAME FROM

I DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS OR HOW

SHE IS OR WHEN, WHAT, WHY

SHE IS

>> BUT AS FOR WHERE SHE IS,

SHE IS WHERE WE WILL GO

TO ADELAIDE, TO ADELAIDE

COME ON AND JOIN THE ADELAIDE

PARADE

ADELAIDE, TO ADELAIDE

WE'RE GOING TO ADELAIDE'S

HOUSE TODAY

>> [ LAUGHS ]

BOY.

FINALLY GOING HOME.

>> [ SIGHS ]

>> HEY, WHAT'S WITH BEATRICE?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT'S WITH GEORGE WASHINGTON

BEING NAKED?

[ FANFARE PLAYS ]

>> WHAT?

>> ALL THE OTHER FROGS ARE

DRESSED UP NICE.

[ BOTH CROAKING ]

HE'S AN OUTCAST, AND HE'S COLD.

[ WIND GUSTS ]

FEEL THESE COLD FEET.

>> NO.

HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE COLD, GREG.

HE'S A FROG.

>> BUT HE'S OUR FROG!

>> WELL, HE'S NOT MY FROG -- OR

SHE'S NOT MY FROG.

WE DON'T REALLY KNOW ITS GENDER.

>> [ GASPS ]

COME ON, GEORGE.

YOU'RE A MANLY FROG, AND YOU

NEED SOME SOCKS.

>> [ CROAKS ]

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

>> HUH?

[ CROWD MURMURING ]

>> UH-OH.

IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE IN TROUBLE.

>> [ GASPS ]

IT'S 'CAUSE THE PRESIDENT IS

NUDE!

>> IT'S PROBABLY 'CAUSE YOU

SNUCK ON WITHOUT PAYING.

>> OH, YEAH.

BUT THAT'S BECAUSE GREG THREW

ALL OUR MONEY AWAY.

TAKE HIM, NOT ME!

>> AAAAAAAAAH!

[ WHISTLE BLOWING ]

[ FLIES BUZZING ]

>> SORRY!

>> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

[ BLOWING CONTINUES ]

>> TADPOLES!

YOUR BABIES!

[ TADPOLES CRYING ]

>> [ CRYING ]

>> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

[ BLOWING CONTINUES ]

[ SQUISH! SQUISH! ]

>> AHH.

>> GOOD DAY, GENTLE--

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

[ Deep voice ] GOOD DAY,

GENTLEMEN.

WE -- I -- MUST BE GOING NOW TO

JOIN THE BAND.

>> Wirt, drum me!

>> Okay.

>> OW! OW, OW!

OW! OW, OW!

[ POP! POP! ]

ARE WE GOOD?

>> WHEW! I THINK SO.

>> WIRT, SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO

FACE YOUR PROBLEMS.

TURN YOURSELF IN AND GET KICKED

OFF THIS BOAT.

>> I DON'T THINK TODAY'S A GOOD

DAY TO GET ARRESTED BY FROGS.

>> HMM. WELL...

>> HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON?

>> DON'T PUSH ME!

>> OOF! OOF! OOF!

[ INSTRUMENTS WARMING UP ]

>> [ GRUNTS ]

>> OKAY, EVERYBODY.

ACT NATURAL.

>> DRUM ME! DRUM ME!

>> I SAID, "ACT NATURAL."

>> IT IS NATURAL! I'M A DRUM!

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

WIRT, DRUM ME!

DRUM ME IN THE FACE!

>> OKAY! OKAY! SHH!

DON'T DRAW ATTENTION TO US!

[ SMACK! ]

[ FROGS CROAKING ]

[ FLIES BUZZING ]

>> WHOA!

[ HONK! ]

WHOA!

>> NO BASSOON PLAYER.

UH-OH.

[ FROGS CROAKING ANGRILY ]

DOG, THOSE FROGS REALLY LOVE THE

BASSOON!

[ CROAKING CONTINUES ]

HUH?

>> HMM.

>> OH, NO.

BEATRICE, I'M TOO YOUNG TO GO TO

FROG JAIL.

>> HEY, WHY DON'T YOU PLAY THE

BASSOON?

>> THAT'LL GET US KICKED OFF

THIS BOAT FOR SURE.

>> [ GASPS ]

NO, GREG'S RIGHT.

YOU SHOULD PLAY IT.

GO AHEAD. YOU'LL DO FINE.

YOU PLAY INSTRUMENTS, RIGHT?

>> YEAH, BUT BASSOON AND

CLARINET ARE WAY DIFFERENT.

I DON'T HAVE THE EMBOUCHURE FOR

BASSOON.

I MEAN, THE LOWER AND MIDDLE

RANGES HAVE SOME SIMILARITIES IN

TERMS OF --

>> WIRT, YOU CAN DO IT.

>> SERIOUSLY, NOBODY WANTS TO

HEAR ME PLAY.

>> I DO!

>> I DO!

>> [ CROAKS ]

>> UH...

[ CROAKING CONTINUES ]

>> WIRT?

>> YEAH. HERE WE GO.

[ BASSOON HONKING AND

SQUEAKING ]

>> OW. OW. OW. OW.

[ MUSIC RESUMES ]

>> AT NIGHT WHEN THE LAKE IS A

MIRROR

>> HUH?

>> WHOA!

>> AND THE MOON RIDES THE

WAVES TO THE SHORE

A SINGLE SOUL SETS HIS VOICE

SINGING

CONTENT TO BE SLIGHTLY

FORLORN

A SONG RISES OVER THE LILIES

>> WAH-OOH, WAH-OOH

>> SWEEPS HIGH TO CLEAR OVER

THE REEDS

AND OVER THE BULLRUSHES

SWAYING

TO PLUCK AT A PAIR OF

HEARTSTRINGS

>> HEY, BEATRICE, THANKS FOR

SUPPORTING MY BASSOONING.

>> YEAH. YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOOD.

>> THE BEST PART IS WE'RE STILL

ON TRACK TO GET TO ADELAIDE'S.

>> YEP. THAT'S GREAT.

>> YOU DON'T SEEM THRILLED.

>> WELL, I JUST --

I DON'T WANT YOU TO --

NEVER MIND. NEVER MIND.

>> CARRIES THEIR MEMORY ON

[ ALL GASP ]

>> [ GASPS ]

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

>> All: SHH!

>> UH...

[ MUSIC RESUMES ]

>> OVER THE TREETOPS AND

MOUNTAINS

OVER THE BLACKENED RAVINES

>> OHH!

>> THEN SOFTLY IT FALLS BY A

HOUSE NEAR A STREAM

AND OVER THE GARDEN WALL

TO THEE

>> AHH.

I KNEW YOU WERE SPECIAL.

[ STEAM WHISTLE BLOWS ]

[ FROGS CROAKING ]

>> WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

>> LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE...

HIBERNATING IN THE MUD.

>> SO, WHERE'S ADELAIDE'S HOUSE?

IS IT CLOSE?

>> IT'S -- HMM.

WE SHOULD PROBABLY JUST GO

TOMORROW, I THINK.

WE DON'T WANT TO BOTHER HER TOO

LATE, YOU KNOW?

>> WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO --

JUST SIT AROUND IN THE MUD WITH

THESE FROGS?

>> [ GASPS ]

I CALL THAT MUD OVER THERE!

HA HA HA! YEAH!

>> SO, THEN WHAT?

>> WELL, THEN I WENT TO GO TALK

TO SARA -- I MEAN, LIKE REALLY

TALK TO HER, YOU KNOW -- PUT ALL

MY CARDS ON THE TABLE, YOU KNOW?

>> YEAH.

>> AND THEN JASON FUNDERBERKER

COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND WHISKS

HER AWAY!

UGH! JASON FUNDERBERKER --

THAT GUY.

[ GROWLS ]

PLUS GREG WAS AROUND.

HE WOULD HAVE EMBARRASSED ME

EVEN MORE.

>> WELL, WIRT, SOUNDS LIKE

YOU'RE A REAL LOSER BACK HOME.

>> OH, THANKS A LOT.

>> I MEAN COMPARED TO HOW YOU

ARE HERE.

HERE YOU'RE LIKE A HERO AND

STUFF, RIGHT?

>> AM I?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF I'D SAY,

"HERO," BUT --

>> DO YOU THINK THAT I COULD BE

A HERO, TOO?

HUH?

[ FROGS CROAKING ]

[ GASPS ]

YOU DONE GOOD, MR. PRESIDENT.

YOU DONE GOOD.

>> IF I WAS YOU, I WOULDN'T EVEN

WANT TO GO HOME.

>> YEAH, BUT I-I CAN'T STAY HERE

FOREVER.

>> WHY NOT?

>> HMM? WHY NOT?

BECAUSE -- BECAUSE I-I CAN'T

JUST -- MAYBE IT IS BETTER TO

STAY HERE.

>> GREAT. THEN IT'S AGREED.

WE'RE NOT GOING TO ADELAIDE'S.

GOOD NIGHT, WIRT.

>> OH, WHAT?

OH. GOOD NIGHT, BEATRICE.

[ WIND BLOWING ]

>> BEATRICE.

GREG, WAKE UP!

>> HUH?

>> BEATRICE TOOK OFF!

>> WHAT?

>> COME ON!

>> MMM.

[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

>> COME ON, GREG!

>> I'M COMING.

[ BANGING ]

>> [ COUGHING ]

>> CLOSE THE FLUE.

THAT FRESH AIR DOES SIMPLY

GRUESOME THINGS TO MY TENDER,

DELICATE SKIN.

>> ADELAIDE, WE NEED TO TALK.

>> DID YOU BRING ME WHAT I ASKED

FOR?

>> I FOUND TWO BROTHERS LOST IN

THE WOODS, BUT I CAN'T GIVE THEM

TO YOU, ADELAIDE.

THEY NEED TO GO HOME.

>> NONSENSE!

I'LL GIVE THEM A WONDERFUL HOME

HERE.

>> THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID, BUT --

>> CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SICK AND

HELPLESS?

[ IMITATING COUGHING ]

AH-CHOO!

I'M ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD.

I WANT A CHILD SERVANT.

>> SERVANT?

I THOUGHT YOU JUST WANTED SOME

YARD WORK DONE.

>> OUR ARRANGEMENT WAS FOR YOU

TO BRING ME A CHILD SERVANT AND

THEN I GIVE YOU THE SCISSORS...

TO SNIP, SNIP, SNIP YOUR

FAMILY'S WINGS AWAY TO MAKE THEM

HUMAN AGAIN.

>> WHAT IF I BECAME YOUR

SERVANT?

>> HA!

I NEED A BIG, STRONG CHILD!

>> YOU CAN TURN ME INTO A HUMAN,

CAN'T YOU?

>> OH, YES -- SCISSORS!

>> YEAH. YEAH.

SO, GIVE ME THE SCISSORS.

I'LL GO HELP MY FAMILY.

[ GASPS ] WIRT!

>> CLOSE THE DOOR!

I'LL CATCH MY DEATH OF COLD!

>> WHAT'S GOING ON?

>> YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE.

>> ADELAIDE?

>> WELCOME HOME, CHILDREN.

>> HUH?

>> HUH?

>> Both: AAAH!

>> BEATRICE, WH-WHAT --

>> I...

>> BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE

FRIENDS.

>> NOW THEY'RE MINE.

AND ONCE I FILL THEIR HEADS WITH

WOOL, THEY'LL BECOME JUST LIKE

LITTLE SHEEP AND FOLLOW MY EVERY

COMMAND.

>> ALL ALONG, YOU'VE BEEN

LEADING US TO THIS CRAZY LADY?

>> I DO AS HE COMMANDS -- THE

VOICE OF THE NIGHT, THE BEAST OF

ETERNAL DARKNESS.

>> [ GRUNTING ]

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

OHH!

THE NIGHT AIR IS POISONOUS!

>> BREATHE IT IN, LADY.

WIRT, GREG, LET'S GO!

>> THE DEADLY...AIR!

>> WHOA! GEEZ!

SHE WASN'T KIDDING!

>> IT'S FRESH!

OHHHHHH!

>> HUH?

[ HINGES CREAK ]

WIRT? GREG?

[ COUGHING ]

GREG! WIRT!

IT WASN'T WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE!

I WAS JUST -- PLEASE COME BACK!

OHH.

[ CRYING ]

>> HMM.

>> WIRT, WHAT ABOUT BEATRICE?

>> HMM. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED

ANYONE.

>> [ CROAKS ]

>> HUH?

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN!

>> [ CROAKS ]

>> HURRY IT UP, GREG.

[ WIND BLOWING ]

Chapter 7: The Ringing of the Bell

[ WIND RUSHING, PASTORAL MUSIC

PLAYING ]

[ THUNDER RUMBLES ]

>> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

WHAT ARE WE DOING?

>> WE'RE WALKING, GREG.

>> BUT WHERE?

>> A PLACE TO WAIT OUT THIS

RAIN.

>> OH. BUT...

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

SHOULDN'T WE WAIT FOR BEATRICE?

>> [ SIGHS ]

I DON'T NEED BEATRICE.

I-I'LL FIGURE THIS OUT ON MY

OWN.

>> OH, THAT'S GOOD.

I'M GLAD YOU HAVE A PLAN.

HEY, WIRT?

>> WHAT?

>> SO, WHAT'S THE PLAN?

'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT SAYING ANY

DETAILS, SO IT'S HARD FOR ME --

>> GREG, I DO HAVE A PLAN.

AND IF YOU DON'T TRUST ME, THEN

YOU DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW ME,

OKAY?

IF YOU WANT TO GO LOOK FOR

BEATRICE, GO AHEAD.

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT.

>> ANYTHING?

THAT'S A LOT OF POWER.

[ CRASH ]

WIRT!

OH, NO!

ID I KNOCK DOWN THAT TREE WITH

MY POWERS?

SORRY. ARE YOU OKAY?

>> YEAH.

THAT TREE JUST CAME AT ME OUT OF

NOWHERE.

GREG, LOOK -- AX MARKS.

SOMEONE CHOPPED IT DOWN.

>> INDEED. 'TWAS I.

>> [ GASPS ]

>> AAH! OHH!

>> STOP! LISTEN!

THE BEAST KNOWS YOUR PRESENCE!

READY TO CLAIM YOU AS PART OF

HIS DARK FOREST, BUT ONLY IF YOU

GIVE UP!

KEEP HEARTY IN BOTH BODY AND

SPIRIT AND YOU SHALL BE SAFE

FROM HIM.

FALL ILL OR LOSE HOPE AND YOUR

LIFE SHALL PASS INTO HIS CROOKED

HANDS.

UGH! CHILDREN!

PLEASE, HEED MY WARNING!

BOYS, BEWARE THE BEAST!

>> WOODSMAN.

>> HUH?

>> WE SHOULD TALK.

[ THUNDER RUMBLES ]

>> [ GRUNTS ]

>> [ GRUNTS ]

I THINK WE LOST HIM.

>> HA HA! YOU GOT HIM WITH THE

OLD KICKEROO!

>> SEE? I GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.

I DON'T NEED BEATRICE.

NOW, TO FIND SOMEPLACE TO WAIT

OUT THIS RAIN...

>> AS LONG AS IT'S NOT THAT OLD,

BROKEN-DOWN --

>> SHH!

IT'S PERFECT!

COME ON, GREG!

>> UH, WIRT...

AIN'T THAT JUST THE WAY?

[ FROG CROAKING ]

>> THIS PLACE ISN'T SO BAD.

HUH?

>> MAYBE.

DUM DUM-DUM DUM-DUM DUM DUM

[ CROAKING CONTINUES ]

>> GET THAT FROG OUT OF YOUR

PANTS.

>> HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS.

HEY, WHAT'S IN THESE OLD

BASKETS?

WHOA!

>> WHAT?

>> WE'RE RICH!

>> WHAT?

>> LOOK!

IT'S FULL OF BLACK TURTLES!

WE'RE TURTLE RICH!

>> [ GROANS ]

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

>> YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF FUNNY,

FINDING A BASKET OF TURTLES IN

AN ABANDONED HOUSE, HUH?

>> HA HA! YEAH.

[ LAUGHS ]

>> GREG, NOT THAT KIND OF FUNNY.

>> HUH? OH.

>> AUNTIE?

AUNTIE, I FINISHED SORTING --

[ GASPS ]

>> [ GASPS ]

>> WHO ARE YOU?!

>> WE'RE BURGLARS!

>> NO, NO. NO, NO.

WE'RE -- WE'RE NOT.

WE JUST NEEDED TO GET OUT OF THE

RAIN, AND WE THOUGHT THIS PLACE

WAS ABANDONED, SO WE --

>> SO WE CAME HERE TO BURGLE

YOUR TURTS.

>> NO, IT'S NOT TRUE.

>> IT IS TRUE!

[ LAUGHS ]

OH, OKAY. I GIVE UP.

>> HA! SEE?

>> I BELIEVE YOU, BUT, PLEASE

[COUGHS] HIDE YOURSELVES AT

ONCE.

AUNTIE WHISPERS IS COMING SOON.

>> UH, WHAT?

[ BOTH GASP ]

[ FOOTSTEPS APPROACH ]

>> HIDE, QUICKLY!

WELCOME HOME, AUNTIE.

>> LORNA, MY SWEET CHILD.

[ SNIFFS ]

HMM. HAS ANYONE COME HERE TODAY?

>> NAY, AUNTIE -- NOT A SOUL.

>> THEN NO ONE SHALL BE DEVOURED

ALIVE TONIGHT?

>> NAY, I PRAY NOT, MUM.

>> DEVOURED ALIVE?

>> YOU'RE A GOOD GIRL, LORNA,

BUT YOU DECEIVE ME.

>> I SPEAK THE TRUTH, AUNTIE.

I SWEAR.

>> DECEIVE ME NOT, CHILD.

I CAN SMELL THEM.

[ SNIFFING ]

I CAN SMELL THE CHILDREN IN THIS

HOUSE.

>> WHAT? CHILDREN?

I'M, LIKE, IN HIGH SCHOOL.

>> YEAH, WELL, YOU STILL STINK.

>> SHH!

>> YOU "SHH."

>> TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE HIDING

THEM, PRECIOUS ONE.

>> I --

>> THE RINGING OF THE BELL

COMMANDS YOU.

[ BELL RINGING ]

>> [ GASPS ]

LOOK [GASPS] IN THE BASKET.

>> YOU HAVE ENTERED THE HOUSE OF

DOOM, CHILDREN -- YOUR DOOM.

>> [ GASPS ]

>> OH. MY DEAR, WHY, ALL ALONG,

YOU MEANT IT BE THE TURTLES THAT

SMELL SO RIPE.

>> A-A-AYE.

THAT IS WHAT I MEANT.

>> [ SNIFFS ] MM.

[ MUNCHING ]

THEN YOU HAVE NO EVIL SECRETS TO

KEEP?

>> NAY. I HAVE NONE.

>> THEN OFF TO BED GO I, AND

YOU, LORNA -- YOU SHALL SORT THE

BONES OF THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN

EATEN HERE BEFORE.

>> I HAVE FINISHED ALREADY.

>> THEN CLEAN THIS FLOOR UNTIL

IT SHINES.

THE RINGING OF THE BELL COMMANDS

YOU.

>> [ GASPS ]

YES, AUNTIE WHISPERS.

>> YOU KNOW I DO THIS FOR YOU,

CHILD.

KEEPING YOU BUSY IS THE ONLY WAY

TO KEEP EVIL SPIRITS FROM

DRIVING YOU TO WICKEDNESS.

>> DO NOT WORRY,

AUNTIE WHISPERS.

THE WORK SHALL KEEP ME BUSY.

[ COUGHS ]

>> GOOD NIGHT, MY DEAR.

AND DOWSE THAT FIRE.

I DID NOT ASK YOU TO LIGHT IT.

[ SNORING ]

>> COME OUT, MY TURTLES.

SHE SLEEPS.

>> [ GRUNTS ]

>> YOU SURE?

>> AYE.

[ COUGHS ]

>> UH, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

YOU'VE BEEN COUGHING A LOT.

>> [ COUGHS ] IT'S MY ILLNESS.

IT'S THE REASON AUNTIE WHISPERS

IS SO HARD ON ME.

>> GOSH! THAT LADY IS SO BAD.

YOU SHOULD GO SEE A DOCTOR.

>> AUNTIE DOES NOT ALLOW

VISITORS HERE.

SHE BELIEVES OUTSIDERS WILL LEAD

ME TO BECOME WICKED.

>> YEAH. SEE?

THAT'S SUPERWEIRD.

I DON'T MEAN TO INSULT YOUR

FAMILY, BUT --

>> OH, SHE'S NOT MY REAL AUNT.

>> OH, MY GOSH. SEE?!

>> HEY, WHERE'D DR. CUCUMBER GO?

[ FROG CROAKS ]

HEY, I'M GONNA GET YOU!

>> SO, YOU GOT TO KEEP SWEEPING

TILL YOU'RE DONE?

>> MM-HMM.

THE WORK NEVER ENDS.

BY THE TIME THIS TASK IS

COMPLETE, SHE WILL RETURN AND

ORDER ME TO A NEW TASK, AND SO

IT GOES.

>> IF I HELP AND WE GET THE WORK

DONE FAST, MAYBE YOU CAN...

>> ESCAPE? WITH YOU?

>> YEAH.

>> CAN WE ESCAPE WITH YOU, TOO?

[ FROG CROAKS ]

>> GREG...

>> HMM. YES.

PERHAPS THIS -- THIS TIME IT

COULD BE DIFFERENT.

HERE.

[ GASPS ]

[ COUGHS ]

>> UH, I'LL TAKE THAT SIDE.

>> MM, SOMETHING WEIRD IS GOING

ON.

[ FROG CROAKS ]

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

>> HERE WE ARE

>> TWO OF US, LIKE SHIPS

>> LIKE SHIPS

>> Both: UPON A WINDING

RIVER

>> AND YET

>> AND YET

>> Both: SOMEHOW WE FOUND EACH

OTHER

LIKE STRANGERS, YOU AND I

>> HEY!

YOU CAN RUN AND YOU CAN HIDE!

PAGING DR. CUCUMBER!

YOU'RE NEEDED IN THE OPERATING

RO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OM!

[ FROG CROAKS ]

>> WELL, LOOKS PRETTY GOOD.

I THINK WE'RE DONE.

>> AAAAH!

>> WHY HAVE YOU COME HERE?

>> OOPS!

>> YOU SHAN'T REMAIN ALIVE FOR

LONG IN THIS HOUSE.

>> AAAH!

>> I'M WARNING YOU, CHILDREN --

KEEP AWAY FROM MY LORNA, OR YOU

SHALL BE HASTILY GOBBLED UP!

>> WE -- WE DON'T WANT NO

TROUBLE, LADY.

LET'S JUST TALK IT OUT.

I'M WIRT.

>> LORNA, COME HERE.

>> UH...UH...

>> THE RINGING OF THE BELL

COMMAN-- UH, WHERE --

DID I PUT THE BELL ON MY

NIGHTSTAND?

>> FOLLOW ME.

>> NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

COME OUT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.

UNLOCK THIS DOOR.

SHE WILL DEVOUR YOU.

>> WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?

>> [ HISSES ]

>> Both: AAH!

>> MORE BONES TO SORT.

>> Both: NO!

>> I TOLD YOU BOYS TO STAY AWAY

FROM HER, BUT NOW YOU'VE GONE

AND MADE HER WICKED AGAIN.

>> OH-HO!

FOR SOME REASON, I THOUGHT THAT

OLD LADY WAS THE PEOPLE-EATER,

BUT IT WAS LORNA ALL ALONG.

IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU STUFF.

NOW I HAVE A PLAN THAT'LL --

UGH!

>> [ GRUNTS ]

>> [ GRUNTS ]

HA HA! YOUR PLAN WAS BETTER.

>> I'M SORRY, MY TURTLES...

>> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

>> ...BUT I MUST FEED!

[ BOTH GRUNTING ]

>> GREG!

>> LET'S TRY MY PLAN NOW.

>> [ MOANS ]

>> THE RINGING OF THE BELL

COMMANDS YOU.

[ BELL RINGING ]

>> WHAT THE --

>> OH. HE ATE THE WITCH'S MAGIC

BELL WHEN WE WERE --

>> FINE! DO SOMETHING.

>> OH. I COMMAND YOU TO...

>> THE SPIRIT COMPELS ME.

>> ...TRANSFORM INTO A MAGICAL

TIGER.

>> THE RINGING -- THE RINGING OF

THE BELL COMMANDS YOU!

STOP MAKING LORNA DO BAD STUFF,

SPIRIT!

>> [ ROARS ]

>> AND ALSO GO AWAY AND DON'T

COME BACK.

>> [ ROARS ]

[ ZAP ]

[ THUD ]

>> LORNA! LORNA!

>> WIRT, LOOK!

>> [ MOANING ]

[ ZAP ]

>> LORNA!

>> WIRT, YOU SAVED ME.

>> LORNA? LORNA?

OH, MY LORNA.

>> AUNTIE WHISPERS!

>> I THOUGHT THEY'D STOLEN YOU

AWAY.

>> NO, AUNTIE. THEY SAVED ME.

THEY BANISHED THE EVIL SPIRIT

WITH THE POWER OF THE BELL!

>> YOU CAN HAVE IT BACK AFTER

GREG JR. GOES TO THE BATHROOM.

>> OH, LORNA [SNIFFS] THAT'S

WONDERFUL, DEAR.

>> AUNTIE WHISPERS, WHAT'S

WRONG?

>> WELL, NOW THAT YOU'RE CURED,

YOU WON'T BE NEEDING OLD

AUNTIE WHISPERS ANY MORE TO LOOK

AFTER YOU.

>> OH, AUNTIE, NO.

>> OHH.

>> I WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU.

YOU ARE MY FAMILY.

>> AH. OHH.

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH, WIRT.

>> AND A BIT OF ADVICE -- BEWARE

OF MY SISTER, ADELAIDE.

SHE LIVES IN THE PASTURE.

SHE MUST NOT BE TRUSTED.

>> PERHAPS I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN

SOMEDAY.

I HOPE SO.

>> SMELL YOU LATER.

>> WOW, WIRT!

YOU SAVED THE DAY TWICE TODAY!

>> YEAH, I GUESS.

BUT SO WHAT?

WE'RE STILL NOT ANY CLOSER TO

GETTING HOME.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING

OUT HERE ANYMORE.

I DON'T KNOW IF WE'LL EVER GET

BACK HOME.

>> SURE, WE WILL!

WHAT CAN STOP US?

YOU GOT A PLAN, REMEMBER?

>> I LIED.

>> AW, COME ON.

LET'S GO, CAPTAIN!

LEAD THE WAY!

YOU CAN DO IT!

>> [ SIGHS ]

>> YES. YES.

ALL HOPE WILL SOON BE LOST.

WE'RE LUCKY THE BOY HAD THE

PLUCK TO BEST YOU.

YOUR PLAY COULD HAVE COST US

BOTH.

DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT KEEPING THE

LANTERN LIT?

DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR

DAUGHTER'S SOUL?

>> ONE CANNOT TRADE THE SOULS OF

CHILDREN AS IF THEY WERE TOKENS!

THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER WAY.

>> NO. THERE IS ONLY ME.

THERE IS ONLY MY WAY.

THERE IS ONLY THE FOREST, AND

THERE IS ONLY SURRENDER.

Chapter 8: Babes in the Woods

[ WIND RUSHING, PASTORAL MUSIC

PLAYING ]

[ FROGS CROAKING ]

>> HOME!

HOME?

HOME!

HOME!

HOME?

COULD BE AROUND ANY CORNER.

>> TRA-LA-LA-LA

TRA-LA-LA-LA

>> [ GASPS ]

HEY, CAPTAIN, DO YOU HEAR THAT

SINGING?

>> [ CROAKS ]

>> NOT YOU, SKIPPER.

I'M TALKING TO THE CAPTAIN.

>> [ CROAKS ]

>> CAPTAIN WIRT, DO YOU KNOW

WHO'S SINGING?

>> I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF ANYTHING

ANYMORE.

>> OH.

DID YOU KNOW THAT DINOSAURS HAD

BIG EARS BUT EVERYONE FORGOT

'CAUSE DINOSAUR EARS DON'T HAVE

BONES?

>> NO. I -- I DIDN'T KNOW THAT,

GREG.

>> THAT'S 'CAUSE IT'S NOT TRUE.

IT'S A ROCK FACT!

>> TRA-LA-LA-LA

>> THE BEAST.

IT MUST BE THE BEAST OUT THERE.

THE OBSIDIAN CRICKET OF OUR

INEVITABLE TWILIGHT SINGING OUR

REQUIEM.

>> HMM. YEAH!

MUST BE A REALLY FAT CRICKET.

[ THUDS ]

>> [ GASPS ]

[ BUGLE PLAYS ]

LOOK! WE'VE REACHED LAND!

FEEL THE DIRT!

AHH. SMELL THAT TREE.

WE MUST BE ALMOST THERE.

>> GREG?

>> YES, WIRT?

>> CAN WE PLEASE STOP PRETENDING

WE'RE GONNA GET HOME?

>> HUH?

>> CAN WE ADMIT WE'RE LOST FOR

GOOD?

THAT THIS FOG IS DEEPER THAN WE

CAN EVER UNDERSTAND?

THAT WE ARE BUT WAYWARD LEAVES,

SCATTERED TO THE AIR BY AN

INDIFFERENT WIND?

CAN WE JUST ADMIT WE'RE NEVER

GONNA GET BACK HOME, GREG?

CAN WE DO THAT?

>> WIRT, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING IF

YOU SET YOUR MIND TO IT.

THAT'S WHAT THE OLD PEOPLE SAY.

>> WELL, THEN LET'S DO THAT.

>> YES, SIR, CAPTAIN!

[ BUGLE PLAYS ]

>> GREG!

YOU NEED TO STOP ACTING

RIDICULOUS ALL THE TIME.

>> HUH?

>> LOOK, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHY

WE GOT LOST IN THE FIRST PLACE?

IT'S 'CAUSE YOU WERE GOOFING

AROUND AND GETTING INTO TROUBLE

LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.

>> REALLY?

IT WAS ALL MY FAULT?

>> YEAH, SO...IT'S NOT MY JOB TO

GET US HOME, OKAY?

I'M DONE.

>> ARE YOU SAYING I SHOULD BE

THE LEADER?

>> I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO.

>> BUT IF I'M THE LEADER...

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA BE?

>> I'LL BE ASLEEP.

>> WOW.

WELL, THEN I BETTER TAKE A NAP,

TOO.

I NEED TO DREAM UP A GOOD WAY OF

LEADING US HOME.

THANKS FOR TRUSTING ME, WIRT.

DON'T WORRY.

I WON'T LET YOU DOWN.

I'LL BE A GOOD LEADER.

GOOD NIGHT.

[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

STAR, OH, STAR, UP IN THE SKY,

GUIDE MY DREAMS WITH LIGHT THAT

SHINES.

HELP ME KNOW JUST WHAT TO DO

TO GET WIRT HOME AND ALSO ME,

TOO.

AND IF YOU DON'T, I DON'T CARE.

I'LL PULL DOWN YOUR UNDERWEAR.

[ SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> FORWARD, CHERUBS

HEAR THE SONG

A CHILD'S WISHES CALL US ON

DESCEND!

DESCEND!

>> Psst! HEY!

>> [ GROANS ] HUH?

WHOA!

>> THE DREAMS OUR WINGED WIND

HATH MADE

FOR ONLY BENEATH THE VEIL

>> [ GASPS ]

WHOA.

OF SLEEP

>> WHOOOOOA!

WHOA!

WHOA!

WOW!

>> HEY, GREG!

>> [ GASPS ]

>> NICE TO SEE YOU!

>> HEY, EVERYBODY!

>> All: WELCOME TO CLOUD CITY!

>> THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

MY NAME'S GREG.

WHAT ARE YOURS?

>> WE'RE THE CLOUD CITY

RECEPTION COMMITTEE

AND WE ARE HERE TO WELCOME

THEE

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> OH, WOW, NEAT.

>> AND WE'RE THE CLOUD CITY

AUXILIARY RECEPTION

COMMITTEE

AND WE ARE ALSO HERE TO

WELCOME THEE

>> THANK YOU.

>> AND WE'RE THE HIPPOPOTAMUS

GIRAFFE, AND MONKEY

AND WE ARE COMMITTEE NUMBER

THREE

>> OKAY. ARE THERE MORE?

[ SCARY MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ THUNDER RUMBLES ]

>> WELL, THAT'S ENOUGH.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> All: SO, WHAT BRINGS YOU TO

CLOUD CITY?

>> WELL, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE A

LEADER, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW.

>> All: WHY DON'T YOU LEAD OUR

BAND IN A SONG?

>> OKAY.

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> EVERYTHING IS NICE AND FINE

ALL THE TIME

THE SOFTEST CLOUDS AND RAINBOW

SKIES

AIN'T GONNA LIE

WE ALWAYS HAVE THE MOST

SPECTACULAR TIME TOGETHER

EVERYONE IS SITTIN' PRETTY

ON TOP OF THE WEATHER

LASSO A CLOUD AND MAKE THE

FLOWERS GROW

TIE THEM IN A BOW TO THROW AT

THE END OF THE SHOW

OUR SONGS ARE FILLED WITH

LOVE

THE SWEETEST LOVE

AND WE CAN SEND THEM DOWN

TO YOU

WITH A LITTLE SHOVE

SO HITCH A RIDE INTO THE SKY

AND JOIN OUR BAND

BRING HARPS AND LUTES, KAZOOS,

TROMBONES AND FLUTES

OR JUST YOUR POTS AND PANS

WE CAN WRITE A LITTLE JIG

OUT OF THE MIGHTY BLUE

AND WE WILL BE HERE JUST FOR

YOU

>> WHEE! WHEE!

[ OFF-KEY NOTE PLAYS ]

>> HEE-HEE!

[ NOTES PLAY ]

OHH!

[ THUNDER CRASHES ]

>> All: OH, NOOOOO!

>> THE NORTH WIND IS LOOSE!

[ ALL SCREAMING ]

>> OH, YEAH, THE OL'

NORTH WIND

STARTS TO HOWL

PUFFS UP AND FURROWS HIS

BROW

NOW, NOW

YOU BETTER TAKE COVER

LOCK UP THOSE DOORS

AND CLOSE THE SHUTTERS

I SAY, THE OL' NORTH WIND

YES, HE IS

HE'S GONNA FIGHT

HE'S GONNA SPIN

HE'S GONNA PULL BACK

AND BLOW A LITTLE MORE

UNTIL YOU CAN'T TELL WHAT YOU

CAME HERE FOR

OH, YEAH

>> FIRE!

>> THE OL' NORTH WIND

YES, INDEED

HE'S GONNA BREATHE AND

BREATHE

HE'S GONNA BLOW

[ THUNDER CRASHES ]

BLOW TILL YOU CAN'T FEEL NO

MORE

>> WIRT? GREG?

IS ANYONE OUT THERE?

[ THUNDER CRASHES ]

AAH!

[ SHUDDERING ]

>> [ LAUGHING EVILLY ]

[ THUNDER CRASHES ]

[ ALL GASP ]

[ WIND HOWLING ]

[ LAUGHING ]

>> HEY, NORTH WIND!

PBHT!

>> [ GRUMBLES ] I DON'T LIKE

THAT ONE BIT.

THAT MAKES ME MAD!

>> [ GASPS ]

>> [ GRUMBLING ]

>> OH, NO!

[ CRASHING, THUDDING ]

[ ALL MURMURING ]

[ DOOR CREAKS ]

>> HA HA!

HEE HEE HEE HEE!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

HUH?

>> WHY, HELLO, GREGORY.

>> HELLO.

>> I AM THE QUEEN OF THE CLOUDS.

THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY CITY.

>> YOU'RE WELCOME.

>> I SHALL GRANT YOU ONE WISH.

WHAT DO YOU WISH FOR MOST OF

ALL?

>> WELL, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE

LEADER, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO

GET HOME.

DO YOU KNOW?

>> OF COURSE.

IF YOU WISH, I CAN CERTAINLY

SEND YOU HOME.

>> GREAT!

LET'S GO GET WIRT.

>> I'M SORRY, GREGORY, BUT WIRT

CANNOT GO WITH YOU.

HE IS TOO LOST.

>> [ GASPS ] BUT...ANYTHING IS

POSSIBLE IF YOU SET YOUR MIND TO

IT, RIGHT?

>> SEE HOW THE EDELWOOD GROWS

AROUND HIM?

THE BEAST HAS CLAIMED HIM

ALREADY.

>> OH, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN

LEADING BETTER.

I WAS GOOFING OFF AGAIN, LIKE

ALWAYS, AND NOW YOU'RE STUCK

HERE.

ISN'T THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?

>> I'M SORRY, GREGORY.

WIRT'S FATE LIES SOLELY IN THE

BEAST'S HANDS NOW.

>> THEN I KNOW WHAT TO WISH FOR.

[ WHISPERING ]

>> [ GASPS ]

ARE YOU SURE?

THEN IT SHALL BE DONE.

[ TING! ]

>> HEY. HEY, WIRT?

>> Shh!

TRYING TO SLEEP.

>> OKAY. YOU SLEEP.

I'M SORRY I GOT US LOST, WIRT.

WILL YOU TAKE CARE OF RONALD FOR

ME?

OKAY.

I HAVE TO GO NOW.

GOODBYE, WIRT.

>> YES. COME, GREGORY.

THERE IS MUCH TO BE DONE.

>> AND THEN YOU'LL SHOW US THE

WAY HOME, RIGHT?

>> OF COURSE.

WE MADE A PROMISE, DIDN'T WE?

>> GREG. GREG?

GREG?

GREG?!

WHERE DID HE GO?

>> TRA-LA-LA-LA

>> NO. NO, NO, NO, NO!

GREG?!

[ GRUNTING ]

WHAT THE HECK?

>> TRA-LA-LA-LA

TRA-LA-LA-LA

'TISN'T MUCH THAT I REQUIRE

>> GREG?!

GREG...

WHAT DID I DO?

GREG!

GREG!

AAH!

UNH!

[ GROANS ]

>> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]

[ GASPS ] HUH?

GREG.

OOF! AAH!

[ GROANING ]

>> OH! YOU GOT HIM!

PULL! PULL!

IS HE ALIVE?

WIRT!

>> WIRT! WIRT?

>> GR...EG...?

>> WIRT, ARE YOU OKAY?

WIRT!

>> GR...EG?

I-I-I --

>> WHERE'S GREG, WIRT?

>> BEATRICE?

[ SHUDDERED BREATHING ]

>> WIRT.

WIRT!

[ WIND HOWLING ]

Chapter 9: Into the Unknown

[ WIND RUSHING, PASTORAL MUSIC

PLAYING ]

>> THE ANGELS HAVE GONE

THE SONGS HAVE GONE SILENT

YOU'RE SINKING LIKE A STONE

BEFORE THE TIDE

THE RIVER RUNS CO-O-LD

THE FIGHT IS OVER

STILL THE HAUNTED RUINS OF

NIGHT CALL YOUR NAME

>> [ GASPS ]

>> [ INHALES DEEPLY, SQUEALS ]

[ GUITAR SOLO, VOCALIZING ]

>> MM-HMM.

[ GASPS ]

YES.

[ WIND RUSHING ]

YES.

[ GUITAR SOLO, VOCALIZING

THANK YOU, OLD LADY DANIELS.

>> GOODBYE, GREGORY.

AND PLEASE DON'T CALL ME

OLD LADY.

>> YES, SIR, YOUNG MAN.

HEY, WIRT, WHATCHA DOING?

>> NOTHING.

>> I WAS HELPING

OLD LADY DANIELS RAKE SOME

LEAVES IN EXCHANGE FOR CANDY.

>> GREG, IT'S HALLOWEEN.

CANDY IS FREE.

>> OLD LADY DANIELS SAYS NOTHING

IN THIS WORLD IS FREE.

OH, HEY, AND LOOK!

I ALSO GOT THIS ROCK.

[ Deep voice ] HEY, WIRT, WANT

TO LEARN SOME ROCK FACTS?

[ Normal voice ] SO, YOU WANT TO

GO LOOK FOR FROGS WITH ME LIKE

YOU SAID YOU WOULD AWHILE AGO

AND HAVEN'T DONE IT YET?

>> NAH. NAH, I'M BUSY.

>> IS THAT BEE NAMED SARA?

>> W-WHAT?

>> YOUR TAPE SAYS "FOR SARA."

ARE YOU GONNA GIVE IT TO

SARA THE BEE?

>> I-I WANT TO, BUT [SIGHS] I

CAN'T.

>> CAN I SEE IT?

>> YEAH. IT'S JUST A TAPE.

>> HMM. YEAH.

OKAY, I'LL GIVE IT TO HER FOR

YOU.

>> OH, GREG! W-WAIT! NO, NO!

>> [ Sweetly ] OH, LOOK AT YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?

>> IT'S AN ELEPHANT COSTUME.

[ TRUMPETING ]

PBHT! SEE MY TRUNK?

>> [ Flatly ] YEAH, THAT'S CUTE.

>> I'M AN EGG.

>> YEAH, EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU'RE

AN EGG, RHONDI.

>> SHUT IT, KATHLEEN.

>> WHATEVER.

[ Sweetly ] SO, WHAT ARE YOU,

WIRT?

SOME KIND OF GNOME?

>> UH, I D-- I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, IT'S -- SEE, I WAS -- I

THOUGHT I'D JUST, LIKE --

>> HEY, WHAT'S THIS?

>> THAT'S WIRT'S TAPE FOR SARA.

>> [ Mockingly ] OOH!

WIRT LOVES SARA!

YOU WANT US TO GIVE IT TO HER

FOR YOU?

>> UH, IT'S FOR A DIFFERENT

SARA -- NOT THE ONE YOU'RE

THINKING ABOUT.

>> YEAH, WIRT'S TALKING ABOUT

MASCOT SARA -- THE ONE HE'S BEEN

LOOKING AT ALL NIGHT.

>> WHA?!

>> [ Singsong voice ] OOH!

>> [ LAUGHS ]

>> WIRT'S GOT A CRUSH ON SARA.

[ Normal voice ] WELL, YOU

BETTER ACT FAST 'CAUSE WE HEARD

JASON FUNDERBERKER IS GONNA ASK

HER OUT AT THE HALLOWEEN PARTY

TONIGHT.

>> JASON FUNDERBERKER?

>> Together: YEAH.

>> YEAH.

>> [ STAMMERING ]

>> YOU OKAY, WIRT?

>> YEAH, EVERYTHING'S --

EVERYTHING'S JASON FUNDERBERKER.

>> Both: WHAT?

>> UH, UH, JASON FUNDERBERKER,

I-I GOT TO GO.

>> BYE!

[ ALTERNATIVE ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> IS THE DOVE NEVER TO MEET THE

SEA FOR WANT OF THE ODIOUS

MOUNTAIN?

>> HEY. SO...FROG HUNT?

>> HUH?

>> I KEEP HEARING RIBBITING

AROUND TOWN, AND I THINK IT'S

THE LAST FROG OF THE SEASON.

>> NO, I JUST WANT TO WALLOW IN

MISERY.

SARA AND JASON FUNDERBERKER.

UGH.

THAT GUY'S GOT HIS ACT TOGETHER.

HE'S THE TOTAL PACKAGE.

I CAN'T COMPETE.

>> YOU'RE THE TOTAL PACKAGE,

TOO, WIRT.

I BET SHE'LL REALLY LIKE YOUR

TAPE.

>> [ GASPS ]

WE NEVER GOT THE TAPE BACK!

I CAN'T LET HER HEAR THAT TAPE!

>> WHY NOT?

>> THAT TAPE HAS GOT POETRY AND

CLARINET ON IT, GREG.

POETRY AND CLARINET!

SARA AND JASON FUNDERBERKER ARE

GONNA START DATING, AND THEN

THEY'LL HEAR THAT TAPE, AND THEN

THEY'LL JUST SIT AND LISTEN TO

IT AND LAUGH AND LAUGH AND LAUGH

AND LAUGH.

>> WHY DON'T YOU ASK SARA OUT

FIRST?

THAT WAY --

>> NO, NO! UGH!

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE

TAPE?

MY LIFE IS CRUMBLING ALL AROUND

ME!

>> OKAY, I THINK WE SHOULD PUT

OUR FROG HUNT ON HOLD AND GO GET

THAT TAPE BACK.

>> GUYS, WHERE'S THE TAPE?

>> WE PUT IT IN SARA'S JACKET

FOR YOU.

>> AAH!

>> YOU BETTER HURRY.

SHE'S CHANGING IN THE TRACK

SHACK.

[ LAUGHS ]

>> SCUSE ME.

>> OH, NO.

>> THE JACKET!

[ PANTING ]

>> HEY!

ARE YOU TRYING TO SPY ON SARA?

>> UH...NO.

RUN, GREG!

>> HEY, SARA, BE CAREFUL, HUH?

THERE'S SOME REAL CREEPS OUT

THERE TONIGHT.

>> THANKS, JIMMY.

[ FILM NOIR MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> HEY, YOU TWO ROBBERS, YOU'RE

UNDER ARREST.

NAH, I'M JUST KIDDING.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

HEY, STOP RUNNING IN THE

STREETS!

>> THERE SHE GOES.

LET'S GET HER.

>> NO, W-WE'RE NOT GONNA GET HER

>> NO, W-WE'RE NOT GONNA GET HER

LIKE THAT.

>> WHAT ARE WE DOING?

>> WE'RE JUST GONNA GET THE TAPE

BACK.

>> OH, YEAH.

LET'S GO IN AFTER HER.

>> [ SIGHS ] I CAN'T.

[ ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS ]

I WASN'T INVITED TO THIS PARTY.

>> I'LL GO IN.

>> YOU WEREN'T INVITED EITHER.

>> OH.

>> YEAH, MAN, THERE'S LOTS OF

BAT-AND-BALL GAMES BESIDES

BASEBALL -- ONE OLD CAT, TWO OLD

CAT, STOOLBALL, ROUNDBALL...

[ MUSIC CONTINUES, INDISTINCT

CHATTER ]

>> WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THEM?

[ SILENCE ]

AAH!

OH. HEY...GUYS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE SAID, BUT

I-IT WASN'T TRUE.

>> OH, HEY, WIRT.

HOW'S IT GOING?

>> HI, WIRT.

>> OH. UH, YEAH.

WELL, SEE YOU AROUND, GUYS.

>> I USED TO BE REALLY GOOD AT

BALLET, BUT MY MOM WANTED ME TO

BE A WRESTLER.

OH, WIRT. YOU'RE HERE.

>> WELL, I...

>> I WAS JUST ASKING IF YOU WERE

HERE.

>> OH, WOW.

[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]

>> OH, HEY, WE'RE GONNA GO TO

THE GRAVEYARD.

>> OH.

ARE YOU GONNA...DO SOMETHING

THERE?

>> NAH, WE'RE JUST GONNA HANG

OUT AND DRINK AGE-APPROPRIATE

DRINKS.

>> LIKE JUICE?

>> YEAH, WHATEVER.

AGE-APPROPRIATE STUFF THAT'S NOT

ILLEGAL.

Hey, you should come.

>> UH, I DON'T --

>> [ Nasally ] HEY, SARA.

ARE YOU READY TO GO?

>> HEY, JASON FUNDERBERKER.

>> OH, HEY, WIRT.

LET'S GO, SARA.

>> YOU COMING, WIRT?

>> NO, NO.

YOU -- YOU GO HAVE FUN WITH

JASON FUNDERBERKER.

>> OKAY.

[ Suggestively ] BUT IF YOU WANT

TO STOP BYE LATER OR

SOMETHING...

>> MM. BYE, WIRT.

>> SAYONARA, JASON FUNDERBERKER.

[ GASPS ]

SARA'S JACKET!

>> MY JACKET. THANKS, WIRT.

WELL, SEE YA -- HOPEFULLY.

>> BYE.

[ GROANS ]

>> YOU'RE LIMITING THE UNIVERSE

TO ONLY THINGS HUMANS COULD

UNDERSTAND.

>> WELL, YOU'RE LIMITING THE

UNIVERSE BY LIMITING THE

POSSIBILITY OF HUMAN

UNDERSTANDING.

>> OH, YEAH. MAYBE.

>> SARA.

>> YEAH?

>> DO YOU BELIEVE IN...GHOSTS?

>> WHY?

>> 'CAUSE THERE'S ONE RIGHT

BEHIND YOU!

AW, I'M JUST KIDDING.

>> It's okay, Funderberker.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> STOP! YOU HIT ME!

>> COME ON.

[ MONSTROUS CROAK ]

>> [ GASPS ]

WIRT, YOU TRICKED ME!

I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS A FROG

HUNT ALL ALONG.

>> IT NEVER WAS A --

>> [ GASPS ]

>> [ GASPS ]

>> A WITCHES GATHERING!

>> AND SO THEN...

A GUY WITH AN AXE SHOWED UP!

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> UGH.

EVERYBODY LOVES FUNDERBERKER.

WHAT DO I DO?

>> I'LL PRETEND TO BE A DEAD

ELEPHANT AND DISTRACT THEM WHILE

YOU GET THE TAPE.

>> PLEASE JUST STAY HERE.

>> AND SO SHE KEPT GETTING AND

CLOSER...

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> JASON.

>> OH, JASON.

>> [ GROWLS ]

GO, GREG. DO IT.

>> OKAY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> UH...YOU CAN LET GO OF MY

HAND NOW.

>> OH...YEAH.

>> [ Nasally ] YOU COULD HOLD MY

HAND, FUNDERBERKER.

I DON'T CARE.

>> [ HOWLING ]

>> HEY, ISN'T THAT WIRT'S LITTLE

BROTHER?

>> NOOOOO.

I'M THE HEADLESS ELEPHANT.

[ TRUMPETING ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> LITTLE GUY.

>> IS WIRT HERE, TOO?

>> OVER THERE!

>> [ GASPS ]

>> THERE HE IS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> WIRT, WE CAN SEE YOU, MAN.

>> [ SIGHS ] GREG.

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER

THERE?

>> OH. HEY, GUYS.

GREG! THERE YOU ARE.

TOTALLY WASN'T SPYING ON

ANYBODY.

I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR --

[ SIREN WAILS ]

>> WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

>> HUH?

>> IS THIS SOME KIND OF

WITCHES' GATHERING?

YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST.

>> RUN!

>> HEY, HEY! I WAS JUST KIDDING.

[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ]

SLOW DOWN, KIDS.

YOU'RE GONNA TRIP OR SOMETHING.

>> RUN, RUN, RUN! RUN, RUN, RUN!

>> WHERE DO WE GO?

>> THAT WAY!

>> GREG!

WHY DID YOU SAY THIS WAY?

>> I THOUGHT I HEARD A FROG.

[ SIREN WAILS ]

>> [ GASPS ]

>> THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY.

>> UH...

>> HEY, DON'T CLIMB UP THERE.

THAT'S DANGEROUS!

GET DOWN HERE BEFORE YOU HURT

YOURSELF!

>> HUH?

>> IT HAS MY NAME ON IT.

>> [ GASPS ]

>> LET'S GO LISTEN TO IT.

[ LAUGHS ]

>> Noooooooooooo!

>> KIDS, REALLY, GET DOWN FROM

THAT WALL.

>> THAT'S IT. THAT'S THE END.

>> NO, DARN IT. NO.

I MEAN COME DOWN THIS WAY.

[ BOTH GRUNT ]

>> [ GROANS ]

ONCE AGAIN, YOU RUIN MY LIFE.

[ MUSIC ENDS ]

>> WHO? ME?

>> UGH! YOU AND YOUR STUPID DAD!

YOU'RE ALWAYS PRODDING ME,

TRYING TO GET ME TO JOIN

MARCHING BAND.

>> OH, YEAH!

IF YOU JOIN THE MARCHING BAND,

YOU COULD HANG OUT WITH SARA

MORE!

>> THAT SHIP HAS SAILED, GREG,

THANKS TO YOU MESSING THAT UP,

TOO.

[ MONSTROUS CROAK ]

>> [ GASPS ]

HOLD THAT THOUGHT, WIRT.

MM.

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?

>> HA HA!

WE FOUND OUR LUCKY FROG.

WE GOT TO NAME HIM FOR GOOD

LUCK.

>> [ CROAKS ]

>> I DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING

TO DO WITH YOUR OR THAT FROG!

>> OKAY, I'LL TRY TO THINK OF A

NAME MYSELF.

[ TRAIN APPROACHING ]

>> UGH. I'M LEAVING.

>> HMM?

>> HUH?

[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING ]

>> AAH!

[ FOLK MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> THERE'S AN OLD BLACK TRAIN

A-COMIN'

SCRAPING 'LONG THE IRON

YOU DON'T NEED NO TICKET,

BOY

IT'LL TAKE YOU IN IT'S TIME

>> [ HUMMING PLEASANTLY ]

[ WIND RUSHING ]

>> HUH? WHERE...

HUH?

>> OH. YOU'RE AWAKE.

HERE, EAT SOME DIRT.

>> [ SPITS ]

UH, BEATRICE?

>> YOU KNOW MY DAUGHTER!

[ GASPS ] WHERE IS SHE?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

>> [ CROAKS ]

>> SOMEBODY LEFT YOU AND THAT

FROG ON THE DOORSTEP.

>> BEATRICE.

BUT HAVE YOU SEEN MY BROTHER?

>> NO, I'M SORRY.

>> UH, I GOTTA GO!

>> YOU'RE IN NO SHAPE TO HEAD

INTO THAT SNOWSTORM, YOUNG MAN.

HERE, HERE, EAT MORE DIRT.

>> THANKS.

COME ON, GUY.

LET'S GO FIND GREG.

>> AT LEAST WAIT UNTIL THE STORM

DIES DOWN A BIT.

YOU'LL BE NO GOOD TO YOUR

BROTHER DEAD.

>> I WAS NEVER ANY GOOD TO HIM

ALIVE, EITHER.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

[ SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> IF YOU SEE BEATRICE AGAIN,

GIVE HER A HUG FOR US.

>> YEAH.

[ MYSTERIOUS CLASSICAL PIANO

PLAYS ]

Chapter 10:The Unknown

[ WIND RUSHING,

PASTORAL MUSIC PLAYING ]

>> [ SIGHS ]

OH!

HUH?

GREG?

>> DID YOU FETCH FOR ME THE

GOLDEN COMB?

>> WILL THAT WORK?

>> THIS IS A HONEYCOMB.

>> GOLDEN COMB OF HONEY.

HEE-HEE-HEE HEE HEE.

>> GREG! OH!

[ WHIMPERS ]

OH!

GRE-E-G!

>> HUH?

>> NEVER MIND THAT, GREGORY.

YOU'VE BROUGHT ME THE FIRST TWO

ITEMS -- A GOLDEN COMB AND A

SPOOL OF SILVER THREAD.

>> IT'S JUST SPIDER WEB ON A

STICK.

>> NOW I WANT THE SUN.

>> THE SUN?

>> HERE.

LOWER THE SUN OUT OF THE SKY AND

INTO THIS CHINA CUP.

>> UH, WELL, THAT SOUNDS

IMPOSSIBLE.

>> ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF YOU

SET YOUR MIND TO IT, RIGHT?

BUT HURRY, THE SUN WILL BE

SETTING SOON, AND --

>> HEY, YEAH, THAT'S IT.

DUH DIH-DUNH

DUNH-DUNH DIN-DUNH

DUH DIN-DIN DUNH

[ WIND WHISTLING ]

SEE, THAT OLD SUN'S GOING RIGHT

DOWN INTO THIS OLD CUP.

>> YOU HAVE FIGURED IT OUT, AND

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT GIVE UP.

>> GIVE UP? I'LL NEVER GIVE UP.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

JUST GOT TO WAIT, JUST GOT TO

WAIT.

>> YES, JUST SIT THERE IN THE

COLD AND WAIT.

[ WIND WHISTLING ]

>> HUH?

>> AAAAH!

>> AAH!

>> OHH.

>> WHAT THE...

>> OHH. OHH.

>> BEATRICE?

>> [ GASPS ] WIRT!

>> BEATRICE!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?!

>> I SAW GREG!

>> WHAT?!

>> I SAW GREG.

HE WAS W-WITH SOMEONE.

THIS WAY!

OR WAIT. UM...

>> BEATRICE, YOU SHOULD GO HOME.

>> I CAN'T -- NOT YET.

NOT UNTIL GREG IS SAFE.

>> OKAY.

>> WE SHOULD HURRY.

I -- I THINK IT WAS THAT WAY.

>> THANK YOU, BEATRICE.

[ MUSIC BOX PLAYS SOFTLY ]

>> [ COUGHS ]

OHH.

[ SIGHS ]

[ GASPS ]

HERE! EDELWOOD!

YOU SEE?

THIS WILL GIVE US SOME OIL,

WON'T IT?

YES, WE'LL KEEP THAT LIGHT OF

YOURS SHINING, WON'T WE?

COME ON.

OHH!

AW! YOU...

>> [ SINGING INDISTINCTLY

IN DISTANCE ]

>> [ GASPS ]

OH! OH!

>> ...DARKNESS

THERE IS A LIGHT FOR THE LOST

AND THE MEEK

SORROW AND FEAR ARE EASILY

FORGOTTEN

WHEN YOU SUBMIT TO THE SOIL OF

THE EARTH

WOODSMAN, I KNEW YOU WOULD

COME.

I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.

>> [ GASPS ]

OH! OH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

>> WHY, I'VE GIVEN YOU ANOTHER

EDELWOOD.

>> NO!!

>> HE WILL BURN NICELY IN THE

LANTERN.

>> NO! I WON'T DO THIS!

>> YOU'VE BEEN GRINDING UP LOST

SOULS FOR YEARS.

>> I DIDN'T KNOW!

I DIDN'T KNOW THIS IS WHERE THE

EDELWOOD TREES CAME FROM!

>> AND WOULD IT HAVE MATTERED?

WOULD YOU HAVE JUST LET YOUR

DAUGHTER'S SPIRIT BURN OUT

FOREVER?

FEED THE LANTERN.

>> NO.

>> I SUPPOSE, AFTER ALL THESE

YEARS, YOU JUST DON'T CARE FOR

HER ANYMORE.

>> HOLD YOUR TONGUE, OR I'LL

REMOVE IT FROM YOUR MOUTH!

DO NOT SPEAK OF MY DAUGHTER.

SHE WOULD NOT WISH THIS.

LET'S GET YOU FREE.

>> AHH.

>> NO.

[ GASPS ]

>> I ONLY WISH TO HELP YOU,

WOODSMAN.

YOU NEED OIL, OR ELSE YOUR

DAUGHTER WILL --

>> I TOLD YOU TO HOLD YOUR

TONGUE!

>> [ LAUGHING ]

>> [ GRUNTING ]

[ WIND WHISTLING ]

>> GREG?

GREG!

>> I THOUGHT IT WAS THIS WAY.

>> A LIGHT.

>> A LANTERN.

>> IT LOOKS LIKE THE WOODSMAN'S.

>> WHOA.

WHAT HAPPENED HERE?

>> [ GASPS ] GREG!

GREG!

ARE YOU...

>> WIRT?

>> OH, GREG!

>> WIRT, I DID IT.

I BEAT THE BEAST.

[ COUGHING ]

>> AW, GEEZ, THE LEAVES ARE EVEN

GROWING INSIDE OF HIM.

>> NO. [ SPITS ]

I WAS JUST EATING LEAVES.

I'M SORRY, WIRT.

>> NO, NO, GREG.

[ SNIFFLES ]

IT'S MY FAULT WE ENDED UP HERE.

EVERYTHING'S BEEN MY FAULT.

I-I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE --

>> NO, I MEAN MY ROCK FACTS

ROCK.

>> WHAT?

>> WHAT?

>> I -- I STOLE IT, WIRT.

I STOLE IT FROM MRS. DANIEL'S

GARDEN.

I'M A STEALER.

AND THAT'S A ROCK FACT.

>> WHAT?

NO, GREG, THAT DOESN'T MATTER.

>> IT DOES MATTER.

[ COUGH ]

YOU HAVE TO RETURN IT FOR ME,

OKAY?

>> NO, YOU CAN GIVE IT TO HER

YOURSELF.

COME ON, WE GOT TO GET

JASON FUNDERBERKER HOME, RIGHT?

>> [ CROAKS ]

>> JASON FUNDERBERKER -- THE

PERFECT...FROG NAME.

>> GREG?

GREG?!

>> LET'S GET HIM OUT OF THIS!

COME ON!

>> YEAH. YEAH.

[ GRUNTING ]

COME ON!

>> IT'S GONNA BE FINE, WIRT.

>> [ GRUNTING ]

>> [ GRUNTS ]

>> [ GASPS ]

>> GIVE ME MY LANTERN.

>> YOUR LANTERN?

>> NO WAY. WE NEED THIS THING.

>> YEAH, I'M KEEPING THIS.

I HAVE TO GET GREG HOME.

>> YOUR BROTHER IS TOO WEAK TO

GO HOME.

HE WILL SOON BECOME PART OF MY

FOREST.

>> I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN!

>> WELL, THEN, PERHAPS WE BETTER

MAKE A DEAL.

>> DEAL?

>> OHH.

>> I CAN PUT HIS SPIRIT IN THE

LANTERN.

AS LONG AS THE FLAME STAYS LIT,

HE WILL LIVE ON INSIDE.

TAKE ON THE TASK OF

LANTERN BEARER...

OR WATCH YOUR BROTHER PERISH.

COME HERE.

>> [ SIGHS ]

OKAY.

>> [ GASPS ]

WIRT!

>> WAIT. THAT'S DUMB.

>> WHAT?

>> THAT'S DUMB.

I'M NOT JUST GONNA JUST WANDER

AROUND IN THE WOODS FOR THE REST

OF MY LIFE.

>> I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU.

>> YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO HELP ME.

YOU JUST HAVE SOME WEIRD

OBSESSION WITH KEEPING THIS

LANTERN LIT.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOUR SOUL IS

IN THIS LANTERN.

>> [ GASPS ]

>> [ GROWLING ]

[ Deep voice ] ARE YOU READY TO

SEE TRUE DARKNESS?

[Voice cracking] ARE YOU?

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

[ Normal voice ] ARE YOU?

[ INHALES DEEPLY ]

[ BEGINS TO EXHALE ]

[ BEGINS TO EXHALE ]

>> DON'T! DON'T!

>> [ SCOFFS ]

>> [ GASPS ]

>> HERE, WOODSMAN.

I'VE GOT MY OWN PROBLEMS TO TAKE

CARE OF.

THIS ONE'S YOURS.

>> [ SIGHS ]

>> MY BROTHER AND I ARE GOING

HOME.

>> SHE WAS NEVER IN THE LANTERN,

WAS SHE, BEAST?

>> LISTEN, WOODSMAN.

LISTEN TO ME.

>> [ GRUNTING ]

[ SIGHS ]

>> WIRT...

>> COME WITH US.

>> I -- I GOT TO GO HOME, TOO,

ADMIT TO MY FAMILY IT'S MY FAULT

THEY'RE BLUEBIRDS.

>> [ CLEARS THROAT ]

>> WHAT?!

>> THE SCISSORS THAT'LL MAKE

YOUR FAMILY HUMAN AGAIN.

>> YOU HAD THEM ALL ALONG!?

>> I-I USED THEM TO ESCAPE

ADELAIDE, AND THEN -- THEN...

>> YEAH, I-I WAS SORT OF MAD AT

YOU.

>> OH, YOU...WONDERFUL MISTAKE

OF NATURE!

>> YOU SEE, WOODSMAN?

ALL WHO PERISH HERE WILL BECOME

TREES FOR THE LANTERN.

CUT THEM DOWN WITH YOUR AX.

GO! NOW!

>> NO!

>> [ GROWLS ]

>> STOP!

YOU'LL NEVER SEE YOUR DAUGHTER

AGAIN, WOODSMAN.

ARE YOU REALLY READY TO GO BACK

TO THAT EMPTY HOUSE?

NO! WOODSMAN!

>> [ BLOWS SHARPLY ]

>> [ GROWLS ]

>> GOODBYE, BEATRICE.

>> GOODBYE, WIRT.

>> ONE IS A BIRD

TWO ARE THE TREES

THREE IS THE WIND IN THE

LEAVES

>> HELP. [ SIGHS ]

>> [ GASPS ]

>> WIRT!

>> FOUR ARE THE STARS

[ SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE ]

FIVE WITH THE MOON

>> WIRT? YOU OK?

CAN YOU SEE ME, WIRT?

>> HMM. WHERE AM I?

>> THE HOSPITAL.

>> HOSP...ITAL?

GREG! WHERE'S GREG?!

>> AND THEN...

[ GASPS ]

WIRT!

I WAS TELLING THEM ABOUT THE

TIME WE ALMOST GOT --

>> [ CROAKS ]

>> [ LAUGHS ]

YEAH, AND YOU WERE THERE, TOO,

JASON FUNDERBERKER.

>> ME?

>> NOT YOU.

JASON FUNDERBERKER, MY FROG.

>> [ CROAKS ]

>> OUR FROG.

>> OUR FROG

>> OUR FROG?

>> NO, NOT YOUR FROG.

>> HEY, SO...

UH...

ABOUT THIS...

>> UMM...

>> YEAH, SO, I DON'T HAVE A

TAPE PLAYER, SO...

>> UH, YEAH.

>> SO MAYBE WE CAN LISTEN TO

THIS...

>> YOU CAN LISTEN TO IT AT MY

HOUSE.

YES.

MAYBE -- MAYBE WE SHOULD LISTEN

TO SOME OTHER TAPES FIRST,

THOUGH, AND SORT OF WORK OUR WAY

TO THIS ONE.

THIS ONE IS A LITTLE BIT...

UH, YEAH, I MEAN, Y-YOU CAN

LISTEN TO IT...

>> AND SO THE STORY IS COMPLETE,

>> AND SO THE STORY IS COMPLETE,

AND EVERYONE IS SATISFIED WITH

THE ENDING.

AND SO ON AND SO FORTH, AND YET,

OVER THE GARDEN WALL...

>> HOW THE GENTLE WIND

BECKONS THROUGH THE LEAVES

[Door opens]

>> FATHER?

>> AS AUTUMN COLOURS FALL

DANCING IN A SWIRL OF GOLDEN MEMORIES

THE LOVELIEST LIES OF ALL

[Whistling]

[Horse whinnies]

>> HONEY? EAT YOUR DIRT.

>> MOM, STOP CALLING IT DIRT.

>> WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT,

TURN US INTO BLUEBIRDS AGAIN?

[Laughter]

>> MOM...

[Laughter]

>> NOW, EAT YOUR DIRT.

>> THE LOVELIEST LIES OF ALL